Thursday, April 02, 2009
sample letter to my lover's baby momma
Dear her,
I don't even know how to start this letter, because I realize that we don't know each other very well. I am not writing this letter trying to be your best friend though I hope we both start to gain some insight into each other. I would just like to let you know that I'm not a bad person and I really care about James. He misses Avery so much. He talks about her all the time. I know he hasn't called. The way you guys wait for his call, he does the same thing. I hate the excuse that he's not calling because you guys haven't called either or that you guys don't want him to call because he hasn't heard from you. He likes to feel wanted which is probably the main reason why he is so disheartened that Avery doesn't call him before she goes to bed the way she used to. I am certainly not excusing his absence nor do I approve of it at all. I think both parites need to make the effort to get in contact with the other.
Every little girl needs her daddy. I know that. I think what James is most scared of is the fact that one day you and I are going to have to meet and either judge each other, talk crap about each other, or just create this uncomfortable moment. I'm not a bitch; I'm actually very nice. Even if you were hostile to me when we met, I wouldn't go off or act crazy. I think we are both adults and can be civil. James is always full of excuses and loves to procrastinate. In this case, he is procrastinating the inevitable awkward moment of all four of us together. I think it would be easier if he knew we weren't going to battle it out or make some tense silent moment in front of Avery.
I know we're not necessarily going to like each other at first but I would like to talk you in person just so we can get that out of the way and actually see each other as actual people rather than the idea of "the other woman." Maybe we can go have lunch or something while James hangs out with Avery. Just writing that is already freaking me out but you know what, I am willing to try. It may be weird at first but if we get used to the idea of the other person, maybe we won't be so against it. I'm going to be around for a long time. You and I are going to be involved in each other's lives somehow so we might as well try to get along. Even if we don't like each other, I think we should all try to tolerate each other for Avery sake. So James won't have an excuse to postpone seeing the daughter that he misses and Avery can spend time with the father that she needs.
Because James' car is a piece of crap, he can't really drive far distances. I tell him that I'm willing to drive wherever he has to meet up with Avery. He's told me that you'd most likely be against anyone you don't know to drive your daughter around. I want you to get to know me so James and I can pick her up instead of inconveniencing you to drop her off. I'm sure James and wants alone time with Avery and I'm willing to drop them off somewhere too. We can make it an every other week thing so Avery can see her Dad more often. How do Sundays look for you guys?
I know this is out of nowhere but I want James to be happy. I know he is when he sees or talks to Avery. His face lights up. Unfortunately, he tends to avoid situations and confrontations. Maybe by you and me working together, something can change. Besides, what I've heard from Shirley and James, we are apparantly a lot alike. Based on what I've read from your facebook, I hate to admit that they are probably more right than they realize. In an alternate universe I think we could be really good friends. Perhaps by some miracle, we can be something close to that in this one.
Feel free to message me back or call me. James lost his phone last week so I wouldn't mind if you or Avery called looking for him.
(instert number here)
Sincerely,
Me
P.S.
We still have Avery's Christmas present. Maybe we can give that to her soon?
I don't even know how to start this letter, because I realize that we don't know each other very well. I am not writing this letter trying to be your best friend though I hope we both start to gain some insight into each other. I would just like to let you know that I'm not a bad person and I really care about James. He misses Avery so much. He talks about her all the time. I know he hasn't called. The way you guys wait for his call, he does the same thing. I hate the excuse that he's not calling because you guys haven't called either or that you guys don't want him to call because he hasn't heard from you. He likes to feel wanted which is probably the main reason why he is so disheartened that Avery doesn't call him before she goes to bed the way she used to. I am certainly not excusing his absence nor do I approve of it at all. I think both parites need to make the effort to get in contact with the other.
Every little girl needs her daddy. I know that. I think what James is most scared of is the fact that one day you and I are going to have to meet and either judge each other, talk crap about each other, or just create this uncomfortable moment. I'm not a bitch; I'm actually very nice. Even if you were hostile to me when we met, I wouldn't go off or act crazy. I think we are both adults and can be civil. James is always full of excuses and loves to procrastinate. In this case, he is procrastinating the inevitable awkward moment of all four of us together. I think it would be easier if he knew we weren't going to battle it out or make some tense silent moment in front of Avery.
I know we're not necessarily going to like each other at first but I would like to talk you in person just so we can get that out of the way and actually see each other as actual people rather than the idea of "the other woman." Maybe we can go have lunch or something while James hangs out with Avery. Just writing that is already freaking me out but you know what, I am willing to try. It may be weird at first but if we get used to the idea of the other person, maybe we won't be so against it. I'm going to be around for a long time. You and I are going to be involved in each other's lives somehow so we might as well try to get along. Even if we don't like each other, I think we should all try to tolerate each other for Avery sake. So James won't have an excuse to postpone seeing the daughter that he misses and Avery can spend time with the father that she needs.
Because James' car is a piece of crap, he can't really drive far distances. I tell him that I'm willing to drive wherever he has to meet up with Avery. He's told me that you'd most likely be against anyone you don't know to drive your daughter around. I want you to get to know me so James and I can pick her up instead of inconveniencing you to drop her off. I'm sure James and wants alone time with Avery and I'm willing to drop them off somewhere too. We can make it an every other week thing so Avery can see her Dad more often. How do Sundays look for you guys?
I know this is out of nowhere but I want James to be happy. I know he is when he sees or talks to Avery. His face lights up. Unfortunately, he tends to avoid situations and confrontations. Maybe by you and me working together, something can change. Besides, what I've heard from Shirley and James, we are apparantly a lot alike. Based on what I've read from your facebook, I hate to admit that they are probably more right than they realize. In an alternate universe I think we could be really good friends. Perhaps by some miracle, we can be something close to that in this one.
Feel free to message me back or call me. James lost his phone last week so I wouldn't mind if you or Avery called looking for him.
(instert number here)
Sincerely,
Me
P.S.
We still have Avery's Christmas present. Maybe we can give that to her soon?
this heart of mine was broken at 11:20:00 AM
27 people tried to mend this shattered heart
27 people tried to mend this shattered heart