Monday, October 06, 2008

to a non-specific boy- personal monologue

Dear heart,

look i'm really sorry about lying to you, cheating on you, ignoring your calls, avoiding you in public, rolling my eyes when you told me how you felt about me, blah blah blah... all that crap i put you through. you were the last person i ever wanted to hurt. you're a really good person and you don't deserve how i treated you but... you let me. you know i still love you, baby.

ok i'm lying again. my bad! maybe i'm not really that sorry. do you realize how irritating you became the moment we got together?! all you wanted to do was use up all my free time! i mean, i liked hanging out with you in the beginning but then you made it feel like being with you was a CHORE! i can't stand needy people and that's what you became! i AM sorry you found out the way you did but i just didn't want to hear your whining anymore. i'm sorry i called you a bitch when you cried all those times but after the third time seeing you cry in a week, YEAH, it got old. i was heartless, i know, but at least i wasn't a fucking little girl about it. i'm sorry you're not the one for me and i'm sorry i was too chicken-shit to let you know. here's a piece of advice from someone who has some experience in... well, you: grow some balls and get a life. maybe you'll meet someone who won't walk all over you after all.

this heart of mine was broken at 5:47:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart

Cast List

Checklist


    x keeps his promises
    x no smoking
    x no drinking
    x drinks with me
    x can drive
    x 21 and over
    x has a job
    x attractive or endearingly cute
    x makes me laugh
    x i can make him laugh
    x has a car
    x tough on the outside, a softy when it comes to me
    x no hardcore drugs
    x gets along with my friends
    x can get jealous
    x trusts me to let me go out with guy friends
    x honest, even when it hurts
    x can go shopping with me and tells me what he likes on me
    x kisses nice
    x does little sweet things
    x calls all the time
    x has a cell phone
    x smells good- either cologne sexy or has a natural comforting smell which i judge for myself
    x parents love me
    x friends love me
    x likes seafood and asian food
    x cooks for me
    x let's me be in control
    x is in control
    x not abusive
    x i can joke with
    x pokes fun at me and vice versa
    x loves my weirdness
    x wears beach clothing or GQ clothes or skater clothes
    x respect privacy
    x my best friend
    x smart
    x goes to school
    x my parents like him
    x doesn't have a significant ex who can come back
    x no girlfriend
    x can act mature but also playful with me
    x i can play-fight with like wrestling
    x likes falling asleep on the phone
    x likes my music
    x shy but opens up to me
    x will never cheat
    x won't drive me to cheat
    x flirts with me
    x can say im beautiful even when i dont have make-up on
    x let's me dress him or style his hair
    x goes to church with me
    x loves to kiss me, hold me, touch me
    x publicly displays his affection
    x sings even when he can't
    x chooses me over his friends
    x would do anything for me
    x likes coffee
    x wears shorts sometimes
    x not a workaholic
    x puts himself in my place when we fight
    x isn't all talk but no action
    x holds me when we sleep
    x can fart in front of me
    x can fart in front of him
    x joins me when im weird
    x listens to my problems, even when they are about him


    [[ RECOMMENDED ]]
    x wears glasses
    x watches chick flicks or willing to watch foreign films
    x lives within a 20 minute radius of my house
    x takes me shopping
    x likes to read
    x good in bed
    x goes to my school
    x new in bed
    x loves coffee the way i make it
    x boxers!
    x sings in the shower
    x picks flowers for me
    x british, australian, french accents
    x watches smallville or dawsons creek
    x financially secure (RICH)
    x has no girl pals but me
    x rarely hangs with the boys and takes me when he does
    x a fireman
    x drives a truck
    x wears flip flops
    x half white? hehe

Those Days




since april.01.2002