Friday, April 04, 2008
why i can't say i love you
Dear heart,
I can't tell you that I love you.
I'd rather assure you that if you ever needed any part of me- I'm yours.
If you need a hand for help or just to hold for comfort, the palms of my hands have reservations for you.
If you need a shoulder to cry on or just to sleep on when you're tired, you're welcome to warm the cold shoulder i offer everyone else.
I want you to know that I would never leave your side or let go of your hand... unless you asked me to. That, in in spite of my short attention span, I'm willing to promise my company until you tire of it.
I won't tell you that I love you.
I've told too many people that and it meant nothing while you mean everything.
This is not love.
I know this because I've been in love before and this is much more than that.
I can't love you because my love is fickle and I'm always ready to share it with someone else.
Except with you- I don't want to share this with anyone else but the only person who makes me feel this way.
I know nothing out there comes mildly close to this. I am completely and utterly satisfied with you and it would be ridiculious and pointless to even consider anyone else.
Love used to be planning for the future of a church wedding, 2.5 kids. and a white picket fence.
But this isn't like that at all.
I just plan to be with you and going through my days enjoying you because it seems to be more productive when we are. Any given situation becomes more enjoyable 10-fold when you are a part of it.
Each day of the past 6 months has felt like the first date, the first kiss, the first realization that you might really like somebody... but with growing awareness and acceptance of the other person.
This can't be love.
I've honestly never felt this way about anyone.
This is better than love.
I can't even compare this (what we have) to love because love hurts, and our situation is not about that at all.
This has been the farthest from hurt I have ever been.
No one-upping each other on who can hurt the other more, no worry, no playing frustrating mind games.
I'm not scared that you'd hurt me even though I know you could do the most damage.
I feel like we're in this to not only making ourselves happy by being in the complany of the other person but making sure the other person is happy.
I constantly plot your happiness where knowing you're smiling will get me through any bad day.
This selflessness usually doesn't come with the love business.
Love is more of a reassurance, a justification, an apology to hurt someone: "I know I messed up but I love you so forgive me! Love is all about forgiveness."
There's no need for that Get-Out-Of-Jail Card with us when it's all about Passing Go and Collecting $200!
I have to admit that sometimes I feel weak and I want to tell you that I love you.
But I can't ad won't.
I refuse to ruin what we have with that 4-letter word!
I'm scared that if I say it- it would break the spell of this amazing thing that going on between us.
I'm just too freaking ecstatic that I found someone like you.
In a small amount of time, I feel like I know you.
There are no words to describe how i feel about you or what it is we have here, espeically NOT with the word "love."
I wish there was something I could say to you to express how much you mean to me.
But all I have are the hundreds of words in this letter and I still feel like it's not enough.
I hope this explains part of my heart that I am giving to you.
I can't tell you that I love you.
I'd rather assure you that if you ever needed any part of me- I'm yours.
If you need a hand for help or just to hold for comfort, the palms of my hands have reservations for you.
If you need a shoulder to cry on or just to sleep on when you're tired, you're welcome to warm the cold shoulder i offer everyone else.
I want you to know that I would never leave your side or let go of your hand... unless you asked me to. That, in in spite of my short attention span, I'm willing to promise my company until you tire of it.
I won't tell you that I love you.
I've told too many people that and it meant nothing while you mean everything.
This is not love.
I know this because I've been in love before and this is much more than that.
I can't love you because my love is fickle and I'm always ready to share it with someone else.
Except with you- I don't want to share this with anyone else but the only person who makes me feel this way.
I know nothing out there comes mildly close to this. I am completely and utterly satisfied with you and it would be ridiculious and pointless to even consider anyone else.
Love used to be planning for the future of a church wedding, 2.5 kids. and a white picket fence.
But this isn't like that at all.
I just plan to be with you and going through my days enjoying you because it seems to be more productive when we are. Any given situation becomes more enjoyable 10-fold when you are a part of it.
Each day of the past 6 months has felt like the first date, the first kiss, the first realization that you might really like somebody... but with growing awareness and acceptance of the other person.
This can't be love.
I've honestly never felt this way about anyone.
This is better than love.
I can't even compare this (what we have) to love because love hurts, and our situation is not about that at all.
This has been the farthest from hurt I have ever been.
No one-upping each other on who can hurt the other more, no worry, no playing frustrating mind games.
I'm not scared that you'd hurt me even though I know you could do the most damage.
I feel like we're in this to not only making ourselves happy by being in the complany of the other person but making sure the other person is happy.
I constantly plot your happiness where knowing you're smiling will get me through any bad day.
This selflessness usually doesn't come with the love business.
Love is more of a reassurance, a justification, an apology to hurt someone: "I know I messed up but I love you so forgive me! Love is all about forgiveness."
There's no need for that Get-Out-Of-Jail Card with us when it's all about Passing Go and Collecting $200!
I have to admit that sometimes I feel weak and I want to tell you that I love you.
But I can't ad won't.
I refuse to ruin what we have with that 4-letter word!
I'm scared that if I say it- it would break the spell of this amazing thing that going on between us.
I'm just too freaking ecstatic that I found someone like you.
In a small amount of time, I feel like I know you.
There are no words to describe how i feel about you or what it is we have here, espeically NOT with the word "love."
I wish there was something I could say to you to express how much you mean to me.
But all I have are the hundreds of words in this letter and I still feel like it's not enough.
I hope this explains part of my heart that I am giving to you.
this heart of mine was broken at 10:40:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart