Friday, March 07, 2008

oh no

Dear heart,

Dear heart,

james calls me around 8:30 in the morning, which is always a nice way to wake up, and asked if i was interested in hanging out with him and his mom tonight. i said yes and that would have been fine and dandy and all but now he's not picking up his phone. i know he does this every few months but i hope he's not doing this now...

and it turns out- he is.

i am probably over-reacting. he has probably smoked too much weed and fallen asleep. it happens. or he might have "helped" the lady who got beat up last night and as a "thank you" had sex with him and he stayed with her as a courtesy. hey, i'm creative and it's not necessarily that far from possibility. i mean, he did call me his "female friend" to her when he offered to meet her at the courtyard but he'd bring me along.

i'm trying not to trip about the whole thing. i have sent the following messages. i hope it does not scare him away into never talking to me again:

7:03 are we still hanging out with your mom? did you get the info? if not, do you still wanna do something anyway? let me know.

8:05 oh no! are we not hanging out after all? i really don't wanna stay home tonight. can you text me if this isn't going to happen so i can at least catch a movie with anty or my sis? i'd feel bad if i did something else after i said i'd go with you guys without hearing from you so let me know. it's cool if you found something else to do cuz i'll see you tomorrow. text or call me soon please

8:33 most of the time you make me so happy but sometimes you can make me sad... like now. i'll see you tomorrow? call me

i feel pathetic and sad. i should just sleep and get over this. hope i hear from him tomorrow. if not, i can always be over it.

this heart of mine was broken at 7:43:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart

Cast List

Checklist


    x keeps his promises
    x no smoking
    x no drinking
    x drinks with me
    x can drive
    x 21 and over
    x has a job
    x attractive or endearingly cute
    x makes me laugh
    x i can make him laugh
    x has a car
    x tough on the outside, a softy when it comes to me
    x no hardcore drugs
    x gets along with my friends
    x can get jealous
    x trusts me to let me go out with guy friends
    x honest, even when it hurts
    x can go shopping with me and tells me what he likes on me
    x kisses nice
    x does little sweet things
    x calls all the time
    x has a cell phone
    x smells good- either cologne sexy or has a natural comforting smell which i judge for myself
    x parents love me
    x friends love me
    x likes seafood and asian food
    x cooks for me
    x let's me be in control
    x is in control
    x not abusive
    x i can joke with
    x pokes fun at me and vice versa
    x loves my weirdness
    x wears beach clothing or GQ clothes or skater clothes
    x respect privacy
    x my best friend
    x smart
    x goes to school
    x my parents like him
    x doesn't have a significant ex who can come back
    x no girlfriend
    x can act mature but also playful with me
    x i can play-fight with like wrestling
    x likes falling asleep on the phone
    x likes my music
    x shy but opens up to me
    x will never cheat
    x won't drive me to cheat
    x flirts with me
    x can say im beautiful even when i dont have make-up on
    x let's me dress him or style his hair
    x goes to church with me
    x loves to kiss me, hold me, touch me
    x publicly displays his affection
    x sings even when he can't
    x chooses me over his friends
    x would do anything for me
    x likes coffee
    x wears shorts sometimes
    x not a workaholic
    x puts himself in my place when we fight
    x isn't all talk but no action
    x holds me when we sleep
    x can fart in front of me
    x can fart in front of him
    x joins me when im weird
    x listens to my problems, even when they are about him


    [[ RECOMMENDED ]]
    x wears glasses
    x watches chick flicks or willing to watch foreign films
    x lives within a 20 minute radius of my house
    x takes me shopping
    x likes to read
    x good in bed
    x goes to my school
    x new in bed
    x loves coffee the way i make it
    x boxers!
    x sings in the shower
    x picks flowers for me
    x british, australian, french accents
    x watches smallville or dawsons creek
    x financially secure (RICH)
    x has no girl pals but me
    x rarely hangs with the boys and takes me when he does
    x a fireman
    x drives a truck
    x wears flip flops
    x half white? hehe

Those Days




since april.01.2002