Monday, February 18, 2008
what exactly do you want?
Dear heart,
you go around preaching that you don't want a relationship and that you're happy with the way things are... but the truth is, sweetie, you're f*cking lying to yourself. you KNOW you want to be his girlfriend. you know you want to be able to tell the world that he's yours and that you belong to someone too. you know you're tired of the uncertainties of the future even when he makes plans to teach you how to surf in the summer to assure that you see him, you know its not enough. even though you're sure for the most part that he isn't seeing anyone else, it doesn't matter. you just want to know for both of you that you're not wasting your fidelity yet again. because you KNOW that you've been too good this year. he deserves it, you know? because of how he makes you feel when you're around him, talking to him, touching him, kissing him, laughing with him, or just being next to him. nothing and no one else is worth ruining all that. maybe you expect him to feel that way too and want you all him to himself. but that's the thing, he already does.
what the hell do you want from him? more? is that what you really want? because what if he can't give more- because of his daughter? his baby momma? his lifestyle? just because he might not be ready right now? then would you really walk away from this? you haven't been this happy about someone in awhile. and even though he can make you miserable, it's only when he doesn't call right away or when he actually is living his life without you for a few moments, which is exactly what you need right now, it isn't like the miserable i used to feel. it's not the intentional hurt and betrayal that people used to put me through.
you go around preaching that you don't want a relationship and that you're happy with the way things are... but the truth is, sweetie, you're f*cking lying to yourself. you KNOW you want to be his girlfriend. you know you want to be able to tell the world that he's yours and that you belong to someone too. you know you're tired of the uncertainties of the future even when he makes plans to teach you how to surf in the summer to assure that you see him, you know its not enough. even though you're sure for the most part that he isn't seeing anyone else, it doesn't matter. you just want to know for both of you that you're not wasting your fidelity yet again. because you KNOW that you've been too good this year. he deserves it, you know? because of how he makes you feel when you're around him, talking to him, touching him, kissing him, laughing with him, or just being next to him. nothing and no one else is worth ruining all that. maybe you expect him to feel that way too and want you all him to himself. but that's the thing, he already does.
what the hell do you want from him? more? is that what you really want? because what if he can't give more- because of his daughter? his baby momma? his lifestyle? just because he might not be ready right now? then would you really walk away from this? you haven't been this happy about someone in awhile. and even though he can make you miserable, it's only when he doesn't call right away or when he actually is living his life without you for a few moments, which is exactly what you need right now, it isn't like the miserable i used to feel. it's not the intentional hurt and betrayal that people used to put me through.
this heart of mine was broken at 12:00:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart