Saturday, February 16, 2008
realizations and assessment
Dear heart,
reading over my diary, i realize that sometimes i get so caught up in analysis and how i feel about any given situation that i forget the actual events that might be worth mentioning.
like on wednesday, i hardly talked about how i looked or how he acted. pretty much, i looked like death. i had work clothes and my thick YMCA jacket. i was wearing my victoria secrets thermals. i got off work and i was going to antoinette's. i talked to him and let him go since he seemed preoccupied. i got some food and headed to antoinette's when he told me i was welcome to come by. i think i was trying to imply to drop off his mouth piece since i just saw him the day before and i didn't want to seem excessive. i made up an excuse and made a U-turn to his place. i know, i know. i'm not the poster-child for choosing friends over lovers.
as i drive to his place, i warn him of how i look. i walk towards him and i eat my jollibee while he watches tv. i let him taste the filipino spagjetti but he is a bit hesitant at first. he goes and takes a shower and he swears he will be 3 minutes because i protest it'll be too long. i tell him i need to leave in 20 minutes. he seems a bit upset but tells me he can't stop me. so he takes a quick shower and joins me in bed. i snuggle into him and for some reason i get really hot. usually i like his window closed but i was burning up. i took off my thermals and i was a bit embarassed about my mickey mouse sports bra. as i lay there and watch whatver was on the tv, he kisses me on the forehead at least twice. those times are when i think he can actually feel the way i feel about him. and that i might actually be able to love somebody again.
reading over my diary, i realize that sometimes i get so caught up in analysis and how i feel about any given situation that i forget the actual events that might be worth mentioning.
like on wednesday, i hardly talked about how i looked or how he acted. pretty much, i looked like death. i had work clothes and my thick YMCA jacket. i was wearing my victoria secrets thermals. i got off work and i was going to antoinette's. i talked to him and let him go since he seemed preoccupied. i got some food and headed to antoinette's when he told me i was welcome to come by. i think i was trying to imply to drop off his mouth piece since i just saw him the day before and i didn't want to seem excessive. i made up an excuse and made a U-turn to his place. i know, i know. i'm not the poster-child for choosing friends over lovers.
as i drive to his place, i warn him of how i look. i walk towards him and i eat my jollibee while he watches tv. i let him taste the filipino spagjetti but he is a bit hesitant at first. he goes and takes a shower and he swears he will be 3 minutes because i protest it'll be too long. i tell him i need to leave in 20 minutes. he seems a bit upset but tells me he can't stop me. so he takes a quick shower and joins me in bed. i snuggle into him and for some reason i get really hot. usually i like his window closed but i was burning up. i took off my thermals and i was a bit embarassed about my mickey mouse sports bra. as i lay there and watch whatver was on the tv, he kisses me on the forehead at least twice. those times are when i think he can actually feel the way i feel about him. and that i might actually be able to love somebody again.
this heart of mine was broken at 8:25:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart