Wednesday, February 13, 2008
no one
Dear heart,
i'm glad you can't be sick of me talking about james. i just realized that even when i'm not around him, the crap coming out of my mouth is about him.
yesterday was a really bad day at work. there were a lot of kids ditching and getting caught. so i was pretty busy. i'm glad dan recognized all my hard work when he mentioned this: "do you ever see yourself? you're on the phone, on the walkie talkie and telling someone else to hold on the green walkie talkie." thank goodness someone noticed how effing hard my job is.
anyway instead of going to class, i go to james' game. he played well but they lost. he apologized for not paying much attention to me when he played. i know its because he's SO in the zone. we go to target and i go shopping for our valentines day party at work. while i was looking through some stuff, i get a call from a ringtone that i thoughgt "hmm, i really like this song." it turns out james called me to hear what his ringtone was. i was so embarassed. i told him he couldn't be near me or talk to me or look at me at the moment. OMG now he probably thinks i am so in love with him. i even told him about the poem i wrote and how much he was going to like it. i just want to tell him i got him tickets to that game he'd give his right penis for.
anyway i was just feeling down and so we went to food for less to get a naked drink since jamba or juice it up was closed. his friend dan calls and i guess his fiance breaks it off with him. james was a bit excited to get his drinking buddy back and i was scared i was going to lose my partner in crime. oh NO! everytime he mentioned how they used to go out, all i could see was them hitting on everygirl. what was he gonna say? that he was dating someone? i doubt it. but then again i can't waste my time dwelling on it and just ruining the time i do have with him.
we go back to his place and we just laugh and poke fun at each other. i sighed after sex and the city and he repeated it back to me insinuating that it had meaning. i told him he was dramatic while kissing his neck. i love how we have this baby talk voice and it makes me just want to go with whatever it is we're talking about.
when we were kissing, i kept thinking how much i loved kissing him and that liking it that much would probably prevent me from even thinking of touching my lips to anyone else without extreme guilt. i liked that he wanted me to stay. he couldn't tell me to leave. he told me i could leave from there to school. god i wish. i liked sleeping there. it was just way comfortable. i told him that i fall asleep there because its just so comfortable but i always wake up in a panic. then the one time we could sleep in without panic, we were not-so-comfortable (at brett's).
i don't know if he has this much fun with any other girl or significant other before. everything just feels right. it's like undeniable or something how utterly compatible we are and that we might actually be really good together.
ps. random memory- he thought it was cute when i called him "deafy" which meant he was deaf. and he like my made up quote of "partially right is better than not right at all and in our case, since you're not partially right, you're wrong!"
i'm glad you can't be sick of me talking about james. i just realized that even when i'm not around him, the crap coming out of my mouth is about him.
yesterday was a really bad day at work. there were a lot of kids ditching and getting caught. so i was pretty busy. i'm glad dan recognized all my hard work when he mentioned this: "do you ever see yourself? you're on the phone, on the walkie talkie and telling someone else to hold on the green walkie talkie." thank goodness someone noticed how effing hard my job is.
anyway instead of going to class, i go to james' game. he played well but they lost. he apologized for not paying much attention to me when he played. i know its because he's SO in the zone. we go to target and i go shopping for our valentines day party at work. while i was looking through some stuff, i get a call from a ringtone that i thoughgt "hmm, i really like this song." it turns out james called me to hear what his ringtone was. i was so embarassed. i told him he couldn't be near me or talk to me or look at me at the moment. OMG now he probably thinks i am so in love with him. i even told him about the poem i wrote and how much he was going to like it. i just want to tell him i got him tickets to that game he'd give his right penis for.
anyway i was just feeling down and so we went to food for less to get a naked drink since jamba or juice it up was closed. his friend dan calls and i guess his fiance breaks it off with him. james was a bit excited to get his drinking buddy back and i was scared i was going to lose my partner in crime. oh NO! everytime he mentioned how they used to go out, all i could see was them hitting on everygirl. what was he gonna say? that he was dating someone? i doubt it. but then again i can't waste my time dwelling on it and just ruining the time i do have with him.
we go back to his place and we just laugh and poke fun at each other. i sighed after sex and the city and he repeated it back to me insinuating that it had meaning. i told him he was dramatic while kissing his neck. i love how we have this baby talk voice and it makes me just want to go with whatever it is we're talking about.
when we were kissing, i kept thinking how much i loved kissing him and that liking it that much would probably prevent me from even thinking of touching my lips to anyone else without extreme guilt. i liked that he wanted me to stay. he couldn't tell me to leave. he told me i could leave from there to school. god i wish. i liked sleeping there. it was just way comfortable. i told him that i fall asleep there because its just so comfortable but i always wake up in a panic. then the one time we could sleep in without panic, we were not-so-comfortable (at brett's).
i don't know if he has this much fun with any other girl or significant other before. everything just feels right. it's like undeniable or something how utterly compatible we are and that we might actually be really good together.
ps. random memory- he thought it was cute when i called him "deafy" which meant he was deaf. and he like my made up quote of "partially right is better than not right at all and in our case, since you're not partially right, you're wrong!"
this heart of mine was broken at 10:27:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart