Monday, February 11, 2008
spending a day with james
Dear heart,
friday i spent the evening with antoinette. she was late and so i ended up talking on the phone with james. he was just going to stay home on a friday night. i figure, if he's seeing some other chick that would be the night to go out with her. anyway, i watch atonement with anty and it was SUCH a depressing movie. oh GOD it made me so mad. i drove home all depressed and pissed off. i stay up a little and finally went to bed around 2 or 3 in the morning.
i got a call from him around 8:45. he kept asking what i was doing that day and that he wanted to wait until 9 to call. that's cute how he almost couldn't wait to talk to me since he called me earlier than that. i invite him to my house so i go pick him up. he wanted to go get a haircut first so we went to some place by his house. he said it's been 2 years since he got his hair cut in a barber shop. he "needed my help." he wanted me to tell the lady how i wanted her to cut his hair. it was so weird and cute and relationship-y of us. when she was almost done, she asked ME if the haircut was ok. i was a little uncomfortable and unsure of what i was supposed to say cuz i mean, it was HIS hair. i just nod. he laughs because he said it was funny that the lady didn't know who to ask: him or me. that's a lot of power to give me. i got to shape his hair. that must mean SOMEthing. at least that my opinion matters.
then we drove home to pick up my sister and we go to wingstop. he pays for the food and i buy rice. then we go back to my place and play some video games. it was fun. melanie left to the other room and we fool around. when we were done, i was ready to go. he goes with me to best buy and then to the mall to get my phone. i love walking while holding his hand. he might not be that attractive but the fact that i probably love him, i think he is SO hot! this guy from att who i only gave my number to because he said he was going to tell me when this pink phone came in asked me last week if he could text or call me to get to know me better. i was all hugging james, making sure that guy knew i was semi-taken. i kept playing with my phone and i guess he hated the lack of attention. even though he'd be looking at shoes, he'd notice me not paying attention to him and we'd move on.
after everything we head to his place. he had this idea where if i went to play basketball with him, we'd watch a movie and i could pick whatever it was. on our way to his house to pick up his basketball clothes, he called his mom for no reason telling her that he basically spent the day with me and that he went with me to get my phone etc. it was cool that he just said my name and she knew who it was, well cuz she knows me but it just seemed so... familiar. that people are supposed to know me now. realizing i was spending the day with him gave me a good feeling. it was our first time actually doing that.
he changed and we went to some park near his house. he gave me sweats, a sweater, and a blanket. i was still cold. i read a book and explored my phone as he played ball. he was really good. afterwards, i could sense his eagerness of my approval. "did you watch me at least? i'm pretty good, right?" =D something like that. so then we go eat pho and maybe it was cuz i was hight but DAMN that was so good. i had another embarassing moment. i start singing that chris brown song "with you" not realizing the outside seating had no plastic to at least block out a bit of my volume. he was all "yeah there's no cover." i hate it! i am always so embarassing with him!
we go back to his place and we lay around for a bit but he says he needs to shower. i kinda like how he leaves me in his room. i always reach for him and he'll come back to give me a tender little kiss. SO cute! i guess i fall asleep cuz when i wake up he is watching 300 and is laying beside me. i ask him why he didn't wake me and he said i was sleeping. that i was snoring but his voice sounded like "aww." he kept asking why i was embarassed. his voiced cooed and he would randomly kiss me. he even let me hug this money his daughter gave him for fathers day. he was about to go to the bathroom and i was hugging it and he told me i could hold it but not too long or he'd get jealous, then takes it back immediately with a just kidding.
i love how he treats me. i think we do it like one and a half times and we fall asleep. i wake up and it is too late, yet again. i am SO dead. he puts his alarm for 7 and we keep snoozing it. there was a miscommunication where he says something about alarming it for 7:15 and i take it as him saying that was the time. then we kept snoozing for "5 more minutes" until it was way late and i was like "why did you not make me LEAVE?!"
each day i spend with him just makes me realize how i wouldn't mind just being with him already. what would be the difference with how we are right now? maybe i'd be different... so i guess i can say i like where we are now. *sigh i just don't know how to get the best of both worlds. i want security but also the nonchalantness and unconfrontational we are in this freedom...
but yes. saturday was the best day ever!
friday i spent the evening with antoinette. she was late and so i ended up talking on the phone with james. he was just going to stay home on a friday night. i figure, if he's seeing some other chick that would be the night to go out with her. anyway, i watch atonement with anty and it was SUCH a depressing movie. oh GOD it made me so mad. i drove home all depressed and pissed off. i stay up a little and finally went to bed around 2 or 3 in the morning.
i got a call from him around 8:45. he kept asking what i was doing that day and that he wanted to wait until 9 to call. that's cute how he almost couldn't wait to talk to me since he called me earlier than that. i invite him to my house so i go pick him up. he wanted to go get a haircut first so we went to some place by his house. he said it's been 2 years since he got his hair cut in a barber shop. he "needed my help." he wanted me to tell the lady how i wanted her to cut his hair. it was so weird and cute and relationship-y of us. when she was almost done, she asked ME if the haircut was ok. i was a little uncomfortable and unsure of what i was supposed to say cuz i mean, it was HIS hair. i just nod. he laughs because he said it was funny that the lady didn't know who to ask: him or me. that's a lot of power to give me. i got to shape his hair. that must mean SOMEthing. at least that my opinion matters.
then we drove home to pick up my sister and we go to wingstop. he pays for the food and i buy rice. then we go back to my place and play some video games. it was fun. melanie left to the other room and we fool around. when we were done, i was ready to go. he goes with me to best buy and then to the mall to get my phone. i love walking while holding his hand. he might not be that attractive but the fact that i probably love him, i think he is SO hot! this guy from att who i only gave my number to because he said he was going to tell me when this pink phone came in asked me last week if he could text or call me to get to know me better. i was all hugging james, making sure that guy knew i was semi-taken. i kept playing with my phone and i guess he hated the lack of attention. even though he'd be looking at shoes, he'd notice me not paying attention to him and we'd move on.
after everything we head to his place. he had this idea where if i went to play basketball with him, we'd watch a movie and i could pick whatever it was. on our way to his house to pick up his basketball clothes, he called his mom for no reason telling her that he basically spent the day with me and that he went with me to get my phone etc. it was cool that he just said my name and she knew who it was, well cuz she knows me but it just seemed so... familiar. that people are supposed to know me now. realizing i was spending the day with him gave me a good feeling. it was our first time actually doing that.
he changed and we went to some park near his house. he gave me sweats, a sweater, and a blanket. i was still cold. i read a book and explored my phone as he played ball. he was really good. afterwards, i could sense his eagerness of my approval. "did you watch me at least? i'm pretty good, right?" =D something like that. so then we go eat pho and maybe it was cuz i was hight but DAMN that was so good. i had another embarassing moment. i start singing that chris brown song "with you" not realizing the outside seating had no plastic to at least block out a bit of my volume. he was all "yeah there's no cover." i hate it! i am always so embarassing with him!
we go back to his place and we lay around for a bit but he says he needs to shower. i kinda like how he leaves me in his room. i always reach for him and he'll come back to give me a tender little kiss. SO cute! i guess i fall asleep cuz when i wake up he is watching 300 and is laying beside me. i ask him why he didn't wake me and he said i was sleeping. that i was snoring but his voice sounded like "aww." he kept asking why i was embarassed. his voiced cooed and he would randomly kiss me. he even let me hug this money his daughter gave him for fathers day. he was about to go to the bathroom and i was hugging it and he told me i could hold it but not too long or he'd get jealous, then takes it back immediately with a just kidding.
i love how he treats me. i think we do it like one and a half times and we fall asleep. i wake up and it is too late, yet again. i am SO dead. he puts his alarm for 7 and we keep snoozing it. there was a miscommunication where he says something about alarming it for 7:15 and i take it as him saying that was the time. then we kept snoozing for "5 more minutes" until it was way late and i was like "why did you not make me LEAVE?!"
each day i spend with him just makes me realize how i wouldn't mind just being with him already. what would be the difference with how we are right now? maybe i'd be different... so i guess i can say i like where we are now. *sigh i just don't know how to get the best of both worlds. i want security but also the nonchalantness and unconfrontational we are in this freedom...
but yes. saturday was the best day ever!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:21:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart