Wednesday, November 07, 2007
empty
Dear heart,
the worse part about purging someone out of your life is the need to go back in order to erase. i was deleting pictures of him on my phone and each one it reminded me of when i didn't know any better, when i actually had hope that there were decent human beings you can meet at a bar.
i don't know why people ruin it for themselves. we had so much fun. and i was seriously non-psycho enough for him where i think i could have put up with a lot. i'm understanding, he just had to give me the opportunity to understand.
on my phone, i usually keep all his missed and received calls and all the calls i've made to him. i delete everyone else i call just so i don't hafto go down such a long list. anyway, i put DELETE ALL and of course it asks me if i REALLY want to do that. i start thinking to myself, do i? although i know i made the right decision, i second guess just seeing him one more time or even playing along for a little while to catch him in a lie. i guess that would just lead to more trouble. i seem to get caught up in pointless agendas because of my boredom. i find my boredom quite dangerous actually. anyway, so i finally press YES i want to delete all... and the saddest thing happened: the word EMPTY popped up with a warning exclamation sign... it really made me think.
the worse part about purging someone out of your life is the need to go back in order to erase. i was deleting pictures of him on my phone and each one it reminded me of when i didn't know any better, when i actually had hope that there were decent human beings you can meet at a bar.
i don't know why people ruin it for themselves. we had so much fun. and i was seriously non-psycho enough for him where i think i could have put up with a lot. i'm understanding, he just had to give me the opportunity to understand.
on my phone, i usually keep all his missed and received calls and all the calls i've made to him. i delete everyone else i call just so i don't hafto go down such a long list. anyway, i put DELETE ALL and of course it asks me if i REALLY want to do that. i start thinking to myself, do i? although i know i made the right decision, i second guess just seeing him one more time or even playing along for a little while to catch him in a lie. i guess that would just lead to more trouble. i seem to get caught up in pointless agendas because of my boredom. i find my boredom quite dangerous actually. anyway, so i finally press YES i want to delete all... and the saddest thing happened: the word EMPTY popped up with a warning exclamation sign... it really made me think.
this heart of mine was broken at 9:41:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart