Friday, February 09, 2007
what a day!
Dear heart,
we had the campaign dinner yesterday and we were all excited to go in our pirate outfits. leonard was drawing a pen ink tattoo of DOWN on my knuckles while he had TOWN. he even said we could say we were "married" and that we were "mates" it just feels weird because of our past. he was holding my hand and drawing on it. then anthony calls me because he is downstairs to pick me up for lunch.
i go to lunch with israel and anthony to that mexican hole-in-the-wall place that made my *ss burn. i got invited to go to vegas with maria, izzy, anthony, connie and some other girls and guys. so basically 6 girls and 8 guys. OMG!
when we were leaving, i bump into israel and he says something about me trying to get up on his wang. anthony looks at me and asks if that was true. i gave him a look and say, "yeah i am." he goes on to say how it's over between us then. so i shrug and tel him fine or alright. i find it confusing that he can want to end things (even though he was pretending) when we weren't even in anything that can be over. i remembered what roxy said that he wanted me all for himself.
he chills at my office for a bit and sees the picture of himself on my bulletin board. thank god i took that picture of vince and me at my birthday down when we "broke up" last week. he asks me about guys at work and my relations with them. someone called me and i ignored their call. he said it was messed up and if he ever found out that i did that to him, which i have, it would be over. why all the threats all of a sudden of things being OVER between us when i don't remember it ever starting? and would it be ok if i started talking like that?
i go to that dinner and leonard and i are showing off our DOWN and TOWN tattoos. we make plans to hang out after the dinner. i'm almost home when he calls me and he invites me to a pre-party at his friend's house. so i head to long beach and call him when i get out the freeway. he didn't answer so i go to vince's place. when i get there, leonard calls me and i talk to him about hanging out. vince asked me who it was and i informed him it was my ex boss.
i ended up going to belmont station with vince and jordie. leonard calls me when we get there and i'm trying to tell him that i probably won't be able to hang out and he calls me whack. i'm trying to explain myself and don't really notice how vince is acting which i'm sure he's pretty pissed about how i'm talking to leonard.
at the bar, leonard called me to ask if i was having fun and to be safe. when i come back from the bathroom, i see vince talking to some gay guy and i guess he is telling him how much he looks like K-FED... kevin federline. and he starts introducing him to girls that are K-FED fans. it was really pissing me off. once jordie told me he'd buy me a shot and i go to the bar. i turn around and vince is talking to that gay guy and some chick. i was so pissed off i went to the bathroom and called anthony. he was about to sleep but sounded happy to hear from me. i felt better knowing he was out there somewhere caring about me. i came back out with a fake smile.
vince starts asking if i had an "emergency phone call." then anthony calls me back and asked if i was going home yet because he wanted to see me. at this point, vince is just really pissed off and so am i. i hate that all these girls are getting introduced to him, taking pictures with him, and touching him! but when we'd hear a good song, we'd forget our anger and dance together. i LOVE how he dances! so damn talented!
anyway, we end up in better terms. he is so drunk and driving like a madman thru the alleys without even pausing to see if cars were coming when crossing the intersection. OMG! then we stop by carls jr and some people in front of us were taking forever on their order. they were acting dumb and reving up the car and honking. i was so damn embarassed to be in the car.
he drops me off at my car and asks me what i'm gonna do. i mess around and say, "ima go party." first of all, its 2:30 in the morning. secondly, you could see it in my face that i was joking. but i guess drunks can't see that. he says something about hooking up with my ex boss. or that he thinks i'm messing around with other people. when i deny it, he says he doesn't believe me. i tell him to stop, kiss his neck, and tell him i'd meet him at his place. we get inside and he just hugs me for a long time. then we lie down and he brings it up again. then he starts saying stupid crap that, i swear, was going to make me get up, walk away, and never talk to him forever. he was all, "i think you're seeing other people but hey its not my goods, right?" um ok... he can SO change that. i could be his so easily. i really could. all he'd hafto do was ask. but he hasn't so why the hell is he tripping?
he ends up passing out and i tuck him in and drive home. he calls me in the morning and asked me what happened the night before. i recap it for him and he tells me to come over before work. so i do. we just cuddle in bed. see! that's what i'm talking about. that comfort makes me delusional like i truly believe that being in vince's arms is where i should be.
we had the campaign dinner yesterday and we were all excited to go in our pirate outfits. leonard was drawing a pen ink tattoo of DOWN on my knuckles while he had TOWN. he even said we could say we were "married" and that we were "mates" it just feels weird because of our past. he was holding my hand and drawing on it. then anthony calls me because he is downstairs to pick me up for lunch.
i go to lunch with israel and anthony to that mexican hole-in-the-wall place that made my *ss burn. i got invited to go to vegas with maria, izzy, anthony, connie and some other girls and guys. so basically 6 girls and 8 guys. OMG!
when we were leaving, i bump into israel and he says something about me trying to get up on his wang. anthony looks at me and asks if that was true. i gave him a look and say, "yeah i am." he goes on to say how it's over between us then. so i shrug and tel him fine or alright. i find it confusing that he can want to end things (even though he was pretending) when we weren't even in anything that can be over. i remembered what roxy said that he wanted me all for himself.
he chills at my office for a bit and sees the picture of himself on my bulletin board. thank god i took that picture of vince and me at my birthday down when we "broke up" last week. he asks me about guys at work and my relations with them. someone called me and i ignored their call. he said it was messed up and if he ever found out that i did that to him, which i have, it would be over. why all the threats all of a sudden of things being OVER between us when i don't remember it ever starting? and would it be ok if i started talking like that?
i go to that dinner and leonard and i are showing off our DOWN and TOWN tattoos. we make plans to hang out after the dinner. i'm almost home when he calls me and he invites me to a pre-party at his friend's house. so i head to long beach and call him when i get out the freeway. he didn't answer so i go to vince's place. when i get there, leonard calls me and i talk to him about hanging out. vince asked me who it was and i informed him it was my ex boss.
i ended up going to belmont station with vince and jordie. leonard calls me when we get there and i'm trying to tell him that i probably won't be able to hang out and he calls me whack. i'm trying to explain myself and don't really notice how vince is acting which i'm sure he's pretty pissed about how i'm talking to leonard.
at the bar, leonard called me to ask if i was having fun and to be safe. when i come back from the bathroom, i see vince talking to some gay guy and i guess he is telling him how much he looks like K-FED... kevin federline. and he starts introducing him to girls that are K-FED fans. it was really pissing me off. once jordie told me he'd buy me a shot and i go to the bar. i turn around and vince is talking to that gay guy and some chick. i was so pissed off i went to the bathroom and called anthony. he was about to sleep but sounded happy to hear from me. i felt better knowing he was out there somewhere caring about me. i came back out with a fake smile.
vince starts asking if i had an "emergency phone call." then anthony calls me back and asked if i was going home yet because he wanted to see me. at this point, vince is just really pissed off and so am i. i hate that all these girls are getting introduced to him, taking pictures with him, and touching him! but when we'd hear a good song, we'd forget our anger and dance together. i LOVE how he dances! so damn talented!
anyway, we end up in better terms. he is so drunk and driving like a madman thru the alleys without even pausing to see if cars were coming when crossing the intersection. OMG! then we stop by carls jr and some people in front of us were taking forever on their order. they were acting dumb and reving up the car and honking. i was so damn embarassed to be in the car.
he drops me off at my car and asks me what i'm gonna do. i mess around and say, "ima go party." first of all, its 2:30 in the morning. secondly, you could see it in my face that i was joking. but i guess drunks can't see that. he says something about hooking up with my ex boss. or that he thinks i'm messing around with other people. when i deny it, he says he doesn't believe me. i tell him to stop, kiss his neck, and tell him i'd meet him at his place. we get inside and he just hugs me for a long time. then we lie down and he brings it up again. then he starts saying stupid crap that, i swear, was going to make me get up, walk away, and never talk to him forever. he was all, "i think you're seeing other people but hey its not my goods, right?" um ok... he can SO change that. i could be his so easily. i really could. all he'd hafto do was ask. but he hasn't so why the hell is he tripping?
he ends up passing out and i tuck him in and drive home. he calls me in the morning and asked me what happened the night before. i recap it for him and he tells me to come over before work. so i do. we just cuddle in bed. see! that's what i'm talking about. that comfort makes me delusional like i truly believe that being in vince's arms is where i should be.
this heart of mine was broken at 3:40:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart