Wednesday, February 14, 2007
single-awareness day
Dear heart,
i baked vince some peanut butter cookies because those are his favorites. i also made him this arrested development card. it said, "i heard it was valentines day, and i just wanted to say- i know i go bananas, then again you do, too. We wonder WHO WHERE WHEN and WHAT DID THEY DO? Instead of being blue, let's think of all our laughter. Instead of freaking out, let's make love and cuddle after. Because of all the guys I know, you're the only one. Come on! It's valetine's day so let's have some fun." Yeah, it's a bit lame. i haven't even heard from him since i gave it to him this morning when i was running late for JA.
i wonder what i shall end up doing tonight. i really just want to go to vince's to cuddle and watch the last disc of arrested development. but i don't even know what time he gets off or if he's doing something tonight. i feel particularly cold today and everyone thinks i'm a martian for wearin my puffy jacket around. i think i'm cold because my heart is empty. there is no fire in my life. actually vince is the fire in the life and anthony seems to be the fan. but what happens when you're far from both and you just can't feel the warmth.
i feel all these things that i can't really explain right now. almost everyone has left early because it is valentines day and they have someone worth it to spend it with. while i sit here in the office waiting for some kind of sign that vince cares enough to call me or want to hang out with me on valentines day. there are days when i can be alone- when i even CRAVE that alone time. but not today. anyday but today.
i called vince again and his voicemail changed which means he was not at work this whole time. what has he been doing? did the card freak him out? did he have plans with some other person for valetines day? did he go all out for someone else? ugh i'm so sick of today. i just wish it would be OVER already.
i baked vince some peanut butter cookies because those are his favorites. i also made him this arrested development card. it said, "i heard it was valentines day, and i just wanted to say- i know i go bananas, then again you do, too. We wonder WHO WHERE WHEN and WHAT DID THEY DO? Instead of being blue, let's think of all our laughter. Instead of freaking out, let's make love and cuddle after. Because of all the guys I know, you're the only one. Come on! It's valetine's day so let's have some fun." Yeah, it's a bit lame. i haven't even heard from him since i gave it to him this morning when i was running late for JA.
i wonder what i shall end up doing tonight. i really just want to go to vince's to cuddle and watch the last disc of arrested development. but i don't even know what time he gets off or if he's doing something tonight. i feel particularly cold today and everyone thinks i'm a martian for wearin my puffy jacket around. i think i'm cold because my heart is empty. there is no fire in my life. actually vince is the fire in the life and anthony seems to be the fan. but what happens when you're far from both and you just can't feel the warmth.
i feel all these things that i can't really explain right now. almost everyone has left early because it is valentines day and they have someone worth it to spend it with. while i sit here in the office waiting for some kind of sign that vince cares enough to call me or want to hang out with me on valentines day. there are days when i can be alone- when i even CRAVE that alone time. but not today. anyday but today.
i called vince again and his voicemail changed which means he was not at work this whole time. what has he been doing? did the card freak him out? did he have plans with some other person for valetines day? did he go all out for someone else? ugh i'm so sick of today. i just wish it would be OVER already.
this heart of mine was broken at 3:27:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart