Wednesday, February 21, 2007

letting someone make me lonely

Dear heart,

i always tried to live by the words of toni morrison. she said to never let anyone make you lonely. be alone because you want to be alone and that it is your choice. it sounded more profound coming from her.

but vince has been messing with me. he calls me to tell me ther's nothing wrong but that he'll call me back later and doesn't. that drives me nuts. so i left him a message last night saying that i don't know what's going on with him. even though he says there's nothing wrong, i KNOW there is. this is not typical behavior. i told him that i felt silly calling all the time.

maybe we'll break it off. i don't even care. it's better than how i feel right now or the torture of wondering what is going on. or is it? will not seeing him on purpose really be so much better than knowing there's still a possibility of seeing each other in the future? i don't even know but it is driving me crazy.

i really miss him. i feel like i need to talk to him so badly. to talk to him about everthing.

this heart of mine was broken at 10:32:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart

Cast List

Checklist


    x keeps his promises
    x no smoking
    x no drinking
    x drinks with me
    x can drive
    x 21 and over
    x has a job
    x attractive or endearingly cute
    x makes me laugh
    x i can make him laugh
    x has a car
    x tough on the outside, a softy when it comes to me
    x no hardcore drugs
    x gets along with my friends
    x can get jealous
    x trusts me to let me go out with guy friends
    x honest, even when it hurts
    x can go shopping with me and tells me what he likes on me
    x kisses nice
    x does little sweet things
    x calls all the time
    x has a cell phone
    x smells good- either cologne sexy or has a natural comforting smell which i judge for myself
    x parents love me
    x friends love me
    x likes seafood and asian food
    x cooks for me
    x let's me be in control
    x is in control
    x not abusive
    x i can joke with
    x pokes fun at me and vice versa
    x loves my weirdness
    x wears beach clothing or GQ clothes or skater clothes
    x respect privacy
    x my best friend
    x smart
    x goes to school
    x my parents like him
    x doesn't have a significant ex who can come back
    x no girlfriend
    x can act mature but also playful with me
    x i can play-fight with like wrestling
    x likes falling asleep on the phone
    x likes my music
    x shy but opens up to me
    x will never cheat
    x won't drive me to cheat
    x flirts with me
    x can say im beautiful even when i dont have make-up on
    x let's me dress him or style his hair
    x goes to church with me
    x loves to kiss me, hold me, touch me
    x publicly displays his affection
    x sings even when he can't
    x chooses me over his friends
    x would do anything for me
    x likes coffee
    x wears shorts sometimes
    x not a workaholic
    x puts himself in my place when we fight
    x isn't all talk but no action
    x holds me when we sleep
    x can fart in front of me
    x can fart in front of him
    x joins me when im weird
    x listens to my problems, even when they are about him


    [[ RECOMMENDED ]]
    x wears glasses
    x watches chick flicks or willing to watch foreign films
    x lives within a 20 minute radius of my house
    x takes me shopping
    x likes to read
    x good in bed
    x goes to my school
    x new in bed
    x loves coffee the way i make it
    x boxers!
    x sings in the shower
    x picks flowers for me
    x british, australian, french accents
    x watches smallville or dawsons creek
    x financially secure (RICH)
    x has no girl pals but me
    x rarely hangs with the boys and takes me when he does
    x a fireman
    x drives a truck
    x wears flip flops
    x half white? hehe

Those Days




since april.01.2002