Sunday, January 07, 2007
yo-yo promises
Dear heart,
so ever since my birthday, i've been hanging out with vince a lot. he sleeps over a lot and once i stole the car and drove to his place- but only after i stopped by anthony's house while he was sleeping and kept farting. haha! i even spent the night at his place last saturday. my mom was SO pissed, it was funny.
today he picks me up after he does his laundry and we go to his place. he does henna on my hand and he reads my poems as we think of illustrations to do. his roommate was home so we close his door and get it on silently. no really- best sex i've had in ages, no, best sex that i can remember. after, we go eat at chen's, we share shrimp fried rice but he gave me all the shrimp. he got some orange bean curd tofu and i got ribs. yum! after, we get some alcohol, more condoms, and chips and head back to his place. we watch arrested development, which is actually a pretty hilarious show.
in the middle of us watching that, he gets this phone call and i could hear a girl. he gets up and takes it in the other room. i sit there thinking how i could allow some stupid guy to hurt me again. i wanted to just go over to him and say i wished to go home now. but i didn't. i'm a coward who hates confrontation. i couldn't stop thinking that this would be the last time i would ever speak to him ever again.
his roommate leaves and we start doing stuff but i couldn't really stay wet. i was thinking way too much. then he takes me home and i immediately call anthony. he said he is coming home from a wedding. so i take the keys and head over there. when i am almost there, he calls me and tells me that there are a bunch of drunk wangs there and he doesn't want me to be around that so to just turn back. i told him i was almost there and i was just going to say hi to him and not go inside.
i get there and he gives me those tight hugs that i know and love. it has actually been awhile since i have received them because his hugs recently were distant and safe because he was afraid to hurt me. actually it even kinda hurt when he hugged me, but i sucked it up. i yelped a little a when he asked if it hurt, i shook my head and hugged him even longer. he asked if i wanted to come inside really quick. he actually looked pretty attractive in the light. he was all in his suit. i say hi to adrian and joaquin but no henry. a little disappointed at that fact. he walks me to my car and we hug.
i drive off and when i am going on the freeway, he calls me and says, "hey joanne. i'm sorry, ok?" i didn't know for what. i asked him what he did. "i didn't know these drunk wangs were here. but i'll hang out with you tomorrow. i'll pick you up." he said he promises to call me tomorrow, actually later since its the next day already. i thought the apology thing was sweet. i smiled. i texted vince that i felt bad when he took the call in the other room and he said sorry about that when he called a few minutes later. not as meaningful coming from him. he asked me what i was doing and i told him i was driving to my friend lara's house but she was sleeping.
he calls me a few minutes ago and asked if i was really driving to my friend's house. and i replied with undoubted certainty, "yeah." this is called the lying game that i hate to play. i never play this with anthony and that is why i like him so damn much. i swear if that boy just wants to be with me- we'd be. but he doesn't and vince is the next best thing so...
"is it easier to fake it than be alone?" -sex and the city
so ever since my birthday, i've been hanging out with vince a lot. he sleeps over a lot and once i stole the car and drove to his place- but only after i stopped by anthony's house while he was sleeping and kept farting. haha! i even spent the night at his place last saturday. my mom was SO pissed, it was funny.
today he picks me up after he does his laundry and we go to his place. he does henna on my hand and he reads my poems as we think of illustrations to do. his roommate was home so we close his door and get it on silently. no really- best sex i've had in ages, no, best sex that i can remember. after, we go eat at chen's, we share shrimp fried rice but he gave me all the shrimp. he got some orange bean curd tofu and i got ribs. yum! after, we get some alcohol, more condoms, and chips and head back to his place. we watch arrested development, which is actually a pretty hilarious show.
in the middle of us watching that, he gets this phone call and i could hear a girl. he gets up and takes it in the other room. i sit there thinking how i could allow some stupid guy to hurt me again. i wanted to just go over to him and say i wished to go home now. but i didn't. i'm a coward who hates confrontation. i couldn't stop thinking that this would be the last time i would ever speak to him ever again.
his roommate leaves and we start doing stuff but i couldn't really stay wet. i was thinking way too much. then he takes me home and i immediately call anthony. he said he is coming home from a wedding. so i take the keys and head over there. when i am almost there, he calls me and tells me that there are a bunch of drunk wangs there and he doesn't want me to be around that so to just turn back. i told him i was almost there and i was just going to say hi to him and not go inside.
i get there and he gives me those tight hugs that i know and love. it has actually been awhile since i have received them because his hugs recently were distant and safe because he was afraid to hurt me. actually it even kinda hurt when he hugged me, but i sucked it up. i yelped a little a when he asked if it hurt, i shook my head and hugged him even longer. he asked if i wanted to come inside really quick. he actually looked pretty attractive in the light. he was all in his suit. i say hi to adrian and joaquin but no henry. a little disappointed at that fact. he walks me to my car and we hug.
i drive off and when i am going on the freeway, he calls me and says, "hey joanne. i'm sorry, ok?" i didn't know for what. i asked him what he did. "i didn't know these drunk wangs were here. but i'll hang out with you tomorrow. i'll pick you up." he said he promises to call me tomorrow, actually later since its the next day already. i thought the apology thing was sweet. i smiled. i texted vince that i felt bad when he took the call in the other room and he said sorry about that when he called a few minutes later. not as meaningful coming from him. he asked me what i was doing and i told him i was driving to my friend lara's house but she was sleeping.
he calls me a few minutes ago and asked if i was really driving to my friend's house. and i replied with undoubted certainty, "yeah." this is called the lying game that i hate to play. i never play this with anthony and that is why i like him so damn much. i swear if that boy just wants to be with me- we'd be. but he doesn't and vince is the next best thing so...
"is it easier to fake it than be alone?" -sex and the city
this heart of mine was broken at 1:13:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart