Tuesday, January 16, 2007

collision

Dear heart,

as you know, i am a paranoid, jealous crazy-person. may it be from past experiences or just the type of person i am, i can't help being that way when i start liking someone. if i'm not really into someone i'm dating, then why get jealous? ok maybe i can act a little possessive just for natural reasons but really CARE in that way where you have psychotic hypotheses on what they could possibly be doing to hurt you. i feel like i'm starting to get there with vince. i'm liking him to the point where it could hurt me if he left. for some reason, when i think of vince i can only compare him to jack berger from sex and the city. he seems like this insecure guy that has some baggage who seems worth taking a chance with because you two get along so well when really in the end it will just end up being this pointless thing that you allowed yourself to hurt you.

the fact that he is a crazy-person too makes it all the more difficult to get along with him. brenda and i discussed this about being with normal people because they never suspect you of doing the crazy things that you do because they can't fathom it. now if two crazies are put together, they are in sync but not in a good way. they will be fully aware of the psychotic activities and thoughts of the other person and that is NEVER a good thing. besides his lunacism, he has MORE crap that makes me crazier. he has a bad habit of not picking up his phone. i effin hate that SO damn much- you don't even know! and he constantly does it. sometimes i just want to end it because he's not answering his phone but then again he does the same crap. which is funny because when he does it- i think he's nuts! but then when i keep getting his voicemail, my messages become more crazed.

i just feel like vince and i meshing is a really bad idea full of drama and suspicion. so why am i still here?

this heart of mine was broken at 5:52:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart

Cast List

Checklist


    x keeps his promises
    x no smoking
    x no drinking
    x drinks with me
    x can drive
    x 21 and over
    x has a job
    x attractive or endearingly cute
    x makes me laugh
    x i can make him laugh
    x has a car
    x tough on the outside, a softy when it comes to me
    x no hardcore drugs
    x gets along with my friends
    x can get jealous
    x trusts me to let me go out with guy friends
    x honest, even when it hurts
    x can go shopping with me and tells me what he likes on me
    x kisses nice
    x does little sweet things
    x calls all the time
    x has a cell phone
    x smells good- either cologne sexy or has a natural comforting smell which i judge for myself
    x parents love me
    x friends love me
    x likes seafood and asian food
    x cooks for me
    x let's me be in control
    x is in control
    x not abusive
    x i can joke with
    x pokes fun at me and vice versa
    x loves my weirdness
    x wears beach clothing or GQ clothes or skater clothes
    x respect privacy
    x my best friend
    x smart
    x goes to school
    x my parents like him
    x doesn't have a significant ex who can come back
    x no girlfriend
    x can act mature but also playful with me
    x i can play-fight with like wrestling
    x likes falling asleep on the phone
    x likes my music
    x shy but opens up to me
    x will never cheat
    x won't drive me to cheat
    x flirts with me
    x can say im beautiful even when i dont have make-up on
    x let's me dress him or style his hair
    x goes to church with me
    x loves to kiss me, hold me, touch me
    x publicly displays his affection
    x sings even when he can't
    x chooses me over his friends
    x would do anything for me
    x likes coffee
    x wears shorts sometimes
    x not a workaholic
    x puts himself in my place when we fight
    x isn't all talk but no action
    x holds me when we sleep
    x can fart in front of me
    x can fart in front of him
    x joins me when im weird
    x listens to my problems, even when they are about him


    [[ RECOMMENDED ]]
    x wears glasses
    x watches chick flicks or willing to watch foreign films
    x lives within a 20 minute radius of my house
    x takes me shopping
    x likes to read
    x good in bed
    x goes to my school
    x new in bed
    x loves coffee the way i make it
    x boxers!
    x sings in the shower
    x picks flowers for me
    x british, australian, french accents
    x watches smallville or dawsons creek
    x financially secure (RICH)
    x has no girl pals but me
    x rarely hangs with the boys and takes me when he does
    x a fireman
    x drives a truck
    x wears flip flops
    x half white? hehe

Those Days




since april.01.2002