Monday, December 11, 2006
need some space
Dear heart,
ok first off let's do a weekend recap. let's see. saturday, i didn't really get to talk to him. maybe on the phone randomly but nothing significant. he went with his parents to anaheim hills. i, on the other hand, went to bob's holiday party. it was better than i thought but i left by 10. it was raining and i was wearing a tubetop and heels.
anyway i stop by vince, the starbucks guy''s pad and just hung out with him for an hour or so. he's very attractive and he's an artist. OMG! his artwork is amazing! he does graphic design for his real job and starbucks for extra cash. that's a relief. i'm sorry but you can't be 23 and working at starbucks. there'd just be something wrong there.
after that, i drive home because there is nothing to do. but before i reach my destination, i play stalker and drive by his t.p. his car wasn't there. then i drove by his parent's house and saw his car there. that's another relief.
the next day was a busy day. at 11, i went to heritage park to take pictures of anty and her brothers for their mom's xmas present. then i went to a baptism. i was kinda pissed because i found out that my dad didn't want me to get a car until i became "more responsible" and kept my room/car clean. GAY! i was so annoyed at chuch. thankfully, he called me and i couldn't pick up but it still made me smile. when i got out, i called him right away and he just makes me laugh all the time, i love it. he apologizes for not calling me but says he was with his parents and that he just woke up. he even messaged me on myspace explaining his whereabouts and his do-abouts, which i found completely unnecessary but very comforting.
anyway, i go to his friend izzy's birthday party. i'm driving to his t.p. and i crash into the side fence thingy of a freeway onramp. the floor was wet and i guess i was going a bit fast and i lost control. there's a scratch but the car was fine. i, on the other hand, was shaking and ready to cry. i call him instantly and find some comfort in the fact that he is incredibly worried about me.
we go to gameworks and i feel weird because they are making fun of the fact that he is wearing a suit and i was the only asian person in their group. everyone but anthony spoke spanish so i felt out of the loop. so i bought izzy a birthday shot and then there were 4 other girls there. i offer a round of shots just so it would break the ice. 3 took my offer. and by the end of the night, they were buying me drinks. i was so wasted. like completely. we eventually move to acapulco and there was this really hot guy with his plain girlfriend. all the girls were drooling over him. maria, the girl he went to dinner with, told me that "wang might get mad" if i keep looking over or commenting about the guy. then later izzy tells me that i'm a down-ass chick. he says that anythony never brings his girls around his friends and he ALWAYS brings me around so i must really be cool. another friend of his telling me that i'm different from other girls. i love it.
so it's time to go home and he gets pulled over. thankfully he is responsible and hasn't drank a drop of alcohol. if he drives he always orders "coke on the rocks." haha so the officer notices i've had too much to drink, anthony says he's just trying to get me home, and i lean over and ask if we can just go. so he let's us go. he says he got lucky cuz i was here. i was so drunk i was falling all over the place at his t.p. he would not allow me to leave. he begged me to stay. i was feeding off that and kept trying to leave to see how much he cared. i don't know how we started doing it but from what i remember, it was GOOD! i fell asleep in his arms. i woke up with my arm asleep. i move to the other end of the couch and fall asleep. i wake up at 4:30, say goodbye, and stumble to my car. when i got home, i threw up what i could but it was more dry heaving and painful stomache contractions.
this morning i could NOT wake up for anything. my body hurt and i told my boss i'd be in two hours late. haha she was cool with it. when i got to work at 10, he called me. he asked if i was ok and wanted to discuss some events of the evening. maritza was walking up with me so i told him i'd call him back. anyway, lara kept bugging me to call anthony because kenny's phone was broken and we were the only link. i guess her constant forcing me to call him made him tell kenny that i've been calling a lot. UGH! i freaking knew it and this was lara's fault. i was so annoyed. this is what i get for helping people. i never want to be annoying to him and now i am afraid to call him. 5 steps backward from where we were?
anyway, they were discussing presents and he guessed what i got him but kenny told him i got him a video game. hopefully that threw him off the scent. then anthony asks kenny what he should get me and kenny suggested making me a build-a-bear. OMG! awesome idea. i always wanted a boy to give me one. i swear i was just thinking of telling kenny to tell anthony to get it for me. kenny is a freaking genius!
so i post a comment on anthony's myspace with a pic of the two of us. i don't know about him, but i think that might be crossing the line. like i don't know why i'm in such denial of him but he's very open about me. like i don't want to kill my game with pictures or references to him. but he doesn't mind pictures. he even wanted the slideshow i sent izzy which had tons of pics of me and him.
right now, i sent him an apology about my calling too much and gave my reasons. i don't think we're gonna talk tonight but i'm cool with that. i feel like it's getting to the point of too much, too soon. i think we need a little space but not a negative kind. i can actually live with space right now but i know i'll miss him later.
ok first off let's do a weekend recap. let's see. saturday, i didn't really get to talk to him. maybe on the phone randomly but nothing significant. he went with his parents to anaheim hills. i, on the other hand, went to bob's holiday party. it was better than i thought but i left by 10. it was raining and i was wearing a tubetop and heels.
anyway i stop by vince, the starbucks guy''s pad and just hung out with him for an hour or so. he's very attractive and he's an artist. OMG! his artwork is amazing! he does graphic design for his real job and starbucks for extra cash. that's a relief. i'm sorry but you can't be 23 and working at starbucks. there'd just be something wrong there.
after that, i drive home because there is nothing to do. but before i reach my destination, i play stalker and drive by his t.p. his car wasn't there. then i drove by his parent's house and saw his car there. that's another relief.
the next day was a busy day. at 11, i went to heritage park to take pictures of anty and her brothers for their mom's xmas present. then i went to a baptism. i was kinda pissed because i found out that my dad didn't want me to get a car until i became "more responsible" and kept my room/car clean. GAY! i was so annoyed at chuch. thankfully, he called me and i couldn't pick up but it still made me smile. when i got out, i called him right away and he just makes me laugh all the time, i love it. he apologizes for not calling me but says he was with his parents and that he just woke up. he even messaged me on myspace explaining his whereabouts and his do-abouts, which i found completely unnecessary but very comforting.
anyway, i go to his friend izzy's birthday party. i'm driving to his t.p. and i crash into the side fence thingy of a freeway onramp. the floor was wet and i guess i was going a bit fast and i lost control. there's a scratch but the car was fine. i, on the other hand, was shaking and ready to cry. i call him instantly and find some comfort in the fact that he is incredibly worried about me.
we go to gameworks and i feel weird because they are making fun of the fact that he is wearing a suit and i was the only asian person in their group. everyone but anthony spoke spanish so i felt out of the loop. so i bought izzy a birthday shot and then there were 4 other girls there. i offer a round of shots just so it would break the ice. 3 took my offer. and by the end of the night, they were buying me drinks. i was so wasted. like completely. we eventually move to acapulco and there was this really hot guy with his plain girlfriend. all the girls were drooling over him. maria, the girl he went to dinner with, told me that "wang might get mad" if i keep looking over or commenting about the guy. then later izzy tells me that i'm a down-ass chick. he says that anythony never brings his girls around his friends and he ALWAYS brings me around so i must really be cool. another friend of his telling me that i'm different from other girls. i love it.
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so it's time to go home and he gets pulled over. thankfully he is responsible and hasn't drank a drop of alcohol. if he drives he always orders "coke on the rocks." haha so the officer notices i've had too much to drink, anthony says he's just trying to get me home, and i lean over and ask if we can just go. so he let's us go. he says he got lucky cuz i was here. i was so drunk i was falling all over the place at his t.p. he would not allow me to leave. he begged me to stay. i was feeding off that and kept trying to leave to see how much he cared. i don't know how we started doing it but from what i remember, it was GOOD! i fell asleep in his arms. i woke up with my arm asleep. i move to the other end of the couch and fall asleep. i wake up at 4:30, say goodbye, and stumble to my car. when i got home, i threw up what i could but it was more dry heaving and painful stomache contractions.
this morning i could NOT wake up for anything. my body hurt and i told my boss i'd be in two hours late. haha she was cool with it. when i got to work at 10, he called me. he asked if i was ok and wanted to discuss some events of the evening. maritza was walking up with me so i told him i'd call him back. anyway, lara kept bugging me to call anthony because kenny's phone was broken and we were the only link. i guess her constant forcing me to call him made him tell kenny that i've been calling a lot. UGH! i freaking knew it and this was lara's fault. i was so annoyed. this is what i get for helping people. i never want to be annoying to him and now i am afraid to call him. 5 steps backward from where we were?
anyway, they were discussing presents and he guessed what i got him but kenny told him i got him a video game. hopefully that threw him off the scent. then anthony asks kenny what he should get me and kenny suggested making me a build-a-bear. OMG! awesome idea. i always wanted a boy to give me one. i swear i was just thinking of telling kenny to tell anthony to get it for me. kenny is a freaking genius!
so i post a comment on anthony's myspace with a pic of the two of us. i don't know about him, but i think that might be crossing the line. like i don't know why i'm in such denial of him but he's very open about me. like i don't want to kill my game with pictures or references to him. but he doesn't mind pictures. he even wanted the slideshow i sent izzy which had tons of pics of me and him.
right now, i sent him an apology about my calling too much and gave my reasons. i don't think we're gonna talk tonight but i'm cool with that. i feel like it's getting to the point of too much, too soon. i think we need a little space but not a negative kind. i can actually live with space right now but i know i'll miss him later.
this heart of mine was broken at 9:46:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart