Wednesday, December 20, 2006

i hope no one kills kenny

Dear heart,

i am thankful for my new anthony informant, kenny.

current information gathered:

kenny: i know wang can get else where
kenny: but i know he likes u
kenny: he just has a wall
kenny: no one can get by

more...

jo: so did he ever SAY he liked me or.. was it just an observation
kenny: all i remember was that
kenny: he was really feeling u
kenny: and u wwere his type
kenny: thats what he told me
kenny: and that u were great
kenny: u payd for his taco bell
kenny: and he likes hanging iwth u

and i realized something- just because things aren't being said doesn't mean they aren't being felt. i have all these feelings for anthony that i might never tell him but they are there. and maybe he doesn't say he likes hanging out with me but doesn't mean he doesn't think it or feel it.

the thing that bothers me is that he was with maria last night. why?! and then today i checked his comments and i guess he comments some chick about going christmas shopping with him and his friends. why doesn't he ask me? because i'm injured? because he's shopping for me too? or he just wants an excuse to hang out with these stupid b*tches? explain that to me. i wonder if he bought her food last night. i wonder what his fascination with her could be. i wonder if she's a backstabbing, lying whore who secretly wants to hook up with him just because. and he can't say no! what is he going to say? there is no real excuse to turn anyone down. he doesn't have a girlfriend and saying that he has a half-girlfriend will just sound completely absurd!

maybe that half relationship titles are for us. like a secret we both have but no one can know about it. vince sure as hell doesn't think i have a half-relationship or will he ever know that. how do you really explain that to people?! vince said we were dating yesterday and it kind of freaked me out. i think i have some commitment phobias like anthony but not when it comes to him. i talked to vince until 2 in the morning. he has such a sexy voice!

anyway, i need to finish my project or i'm going to fail my class. worry about anthony later. i think i'm going to hang out with him today. but who knows.

this heart of mine was broken at 12:47:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart

Cast List

Checklist


    x keeps his promises
    x no smoking
    x no drinking
    x drinks with me
    x can drive
    x 21 and over
    x has a job
    x attractive or endearingly cute
    x makes me laugh
    x i can make him laugh
    x has a car
    x tough on the outside, a softy when it comes to me
    x no hardcore drugs
    x gets along with my friends
    x can get jealous
    x trusts me to let me go out with guy friends
    x honest, even when it hurts
    x can go shopping with me and tells me what he likes on me
    x kisses nice
    x does little sweet things
    x calls all the time
    x has a cell phone
    x smells good- either cologne sexy or has a natural comforting smell which i judge for myself
    x parents love me
    x friends love me
    x likes seafood and asian food
    x cooks for me
    x let's me be in control
    x is in control
    x not abusive
    x i can joke with
    x pokes fun at me and vice versa
    x loves my weirdness
    x wears beach clothing or GQ clothes or skater clothes
    x respect privacy
    x my best friend
    x smart
    x goes to school
    x my parents like him
    x doesn't have a significant ex who can come back
    x no girlfriend
    x can act mature but also playful with me
    x i can play-fight with like wrestling
    x likes falling asleep on the phone
    x likes my music
    x shy but opens up to me
    x will never cheat
    x won't drive me to cheat
    x flirts with me
    x can say im beautiful even when i dont have make-up on
    x let's me dress him or style his hair
    x goes to church with me
    x loves to kiss me, hold me, touch me
    x publicly displays his affection
    x sings even when he can't
    x chooses me over his friends
    x would do anything for me
    x likes coffee
    x wears shorts sometimes
    x not a workaholic
    x puts himself in my place when we fight
    x isn't all talk but no action
    x holds me when we sleep
    x can fart in front of me
    x can fart in front of him
    x joins me when im weird
    x listens to my problems, even when they are about him


    [[ RECOMMENDED ]]
    x wears glasses
    x watches chick flicks or willing to watch foreign films
    x lives within a 20 minute radius of my house
    x takes me shopping
    x likes to read
    x good in bed
    x goes to my school
    x new in bed
    x loves coffee the way i make it
    x boxers!
    x sings in the shower
    x picks flowers for me
    x british, australian, french accents
    x watches smallville or dawsons creek
    x financially secure (RICH)
    x has no girl pals but me
    x rarely hangs with the boys and takes me when he does
    x a fireman
    x drives a truck
    x wears flip flops
    x half white? hehe

Those Days




since april.01.2002