Friday, December 08, 2006
back to normal
Dear heart,
he calls me again randomly asking me what i'm doing at work. he tells me he can't make it to the holiday party because he has to go to anaheim hills with his family that night. i was cool with that. at least it wasn't some other reason where he had control or choice in the matter. i needed some time off from him anyway. it's just- we've been seeing each other WAY too much and i don't want us to get sick of each other. it's called space. use it. i remember this one book said something about going to seperate corners and be away from each other for awhile. then come together and tell each other all about it. i always liked that idea.
tonight we have decided to watch a movie. i tried to be unpredictable with suggestions of bowling or ice skating but he said that wasn't fun with two people. so we went with the idea we always went with- movie. he wanted to watch it a little later because he wanted to nap first so we were gonna watch Apocalypto at 10:20. i told him i might hafto leave the house and do something because after a certain time, i can't leave my house. "why don't you just come over the t.p?" i thought he was going to be sleeping but he told he just wants me there. i told him i'd bring entertainment and he says "yeah! bring yourself." he's dumb. i told him i was bringing my gameboy advance and he told me to bring it. isn't that JUST what i said? haha
so he "threatens" me that i better shower before i come over. i ask him if he showered and he said this morning. but then if he worked all day... but i do smell a little funky down there. honestly, it smells like vomit. i don't know how but it does! i told him about it too. we were laughing about it. i think... i will shave for him today. anyway, he's teasing me then begging me to please shower. i was going to but i wanted to give him a hard time. i love it when he says my name. when he pleaded, he's all, "joaaaaanne!" it was cute. i could have died but i didn't.
hopefully there will be no brujas over there for me to be weird over. i hope he doesn't bring up what happened last night, why i started drinking, or if(and/or)why i was mad. i wouldn't know how to not lie and not be obvious about the truth with my facial expressions. things like that- it's hard to lie because part of me wants him to know. i think that's why. when i lie, i'm good at it because all of me wants to hide whatever i'm lying about.
i can't WAIT to get off work... god it's draggin! i hope i get my card back. i'm kinda scared if they lost it or something. damn i hate leaving things behind when i'm drunk.
he calls me again randomly asking me what i'm doing at work. he tells me he can't make it to the holiday party because he has to go to anaheim hills with his family that night. i was cool with that. at least it wasn't some other reason where he had control or choice in the matter. i needed some time off from him anyway. it's just- we've been seeing each other WAY too much and i don't want us to get sick of each other. it's called space. use it. i remember this one book said something about going to seperate corners and be away from each other for awhile. then come together and tell each other all about it. i always liked that idea.
tonight we have decided to watch a movie. i tried to be unpredictable with suggestions of bowling or ice skating but he said that wasn't fun with two people. so we went with the idea we always went with- movie. he wanted to watch it a little later because he wanted to nap first so we were gonna watch Apocalypto at 10:20. i told him i might hafto leave the house and do something because after a certain time, i can't leave my house. "why don't you just come over the t.p?" i thought he was going to be sleeping but he told he just wants me there. i told him i'd bring entertainment and he says "yeah! bring yourself." he's dumb. i told him i was bringing my gameboy advance and he told me to bring it. isn't that JUST what i said? haha
so he "threatens" me that i better shower before i come over. i ask him if he showered and he said this morning. but then if he worked all day... but i do smell a little funky down there. honestly, it smells like vomit. i don't know how but it does! i told him about it too. we were laughing about it. i think... i will shave for him today. anyway, he's teasing me then begging me to please shower. i was going to but i wanted to give him a hard time. i love it when he says my name. when he pleaded, he's all, "joaaaaanne!" it was cute. i could have died but i didn't.
hopefully there will be no brujas over there for me to be weird over. i hope he doesn't bring up what happened last night, why i started drinking, or if(and/or)why i was mad. i wouldn't know how to not lie and not be obvious about the truth with my facial expressions. things like that- it's hard to lie because part of me wants him to know. i think that's why. when i lie, i'm good at it because all of me wants to hide whatever i'm lying about.
i can't WAIT to get off work... god it's draggin! i hope i get my card back. i'm kinda scared if they lost it or something. damn i hate leaving things behind when i'm drunk.
this heart of mine was broken at 4:49:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart