Friday, September 27, 2002
Dear heart,
the dreaded undiewear ruiner is making its way into my life... and freaking everything is REALLY pissing me off... o well... seeing noel makes me happy...
the issue i wanted to address today was knowing people... you never really know a whole person cuz they are always changing all the time... the joanne you meet today may never greet you tomorrow... the occurences in the course of a day could alter a person completely... knowing someone all their life doesnt mean sh*t anymore... (excuse my language)... but its true... i knew bryan for 2 years and now its like: "who are you?!" he's this totally different person... like just some stranger... but then again im not saying its a bad thing... but its just that time really destroys what people have... cuz people change and forget to tell each other... im sure ive changed as well... though i may not really like to believe so... even if i have, dont think people who are always around me notice much... just those who become strangers... each day just carves a deeper gap between us...
its a little aggrivating to have people change cuz you always know as the person they were when you knew them... then you get this new person and you have no idea what to do with them cuz they arent that person you know... ok im rambling... i dont even make sense anymore... wutev... its my week to complain... im glad us girls have a reason to be b*tchy at one point of the month... guys have no excuse but they just do so...
the dreaded undiewear ruiner is making its way into my life... and freaking everything is REALLY pissing me off... o well... seeing noel makes me happy...
the issue i wanted to address today was knowing people... you never really know a whole person cuz they are always changing all the time... the joanne you meet today may never greet you tomorrow... the occurences in the course of a day could alter a person completely... knowing someone all their life doesnt mean sh*t anymore... (excuse my language)... but its true... i knew bryan for 2 years and now its like: "who are you?!" he's this totally different person... like just some stranger... but then again im not saying its a bad thing... but its just that time really destroys what people have... cuz people change and forget to tell each other... im sure ive changed as well... though i may not really like to believe so... even if i have, dont think people who are always around me notice much... just those who become strangers... each day just carves a deeper gap between us...
its a little aggrivating to have people change cuz you always know as the person they were when you knew them... then you get this new person and you have no idea what to do with them cuz they arent that person you know... ok im rambling... i dont even make sense anymore... wutev... its my week to complain... im glad us girls have a reason to be b*tchy at one point of the month... guys have no excuse but they just do so...
this heart of mine was broken at 5:46:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Dear heart,
ive been so busy lately... i go to school, volunteer at an elementary, pick up my sister, get ready for work, take my sis to granny's house, TRY to see my bf before work, then work, go home, do homework... wth kinda life is this! today is my kick back day (thank goodness)... i pick up my beb from school then chill at his house until i hafto pick up the sister... then i take her to grannys and i get to chill at noel's again till i have school...
damn he got a haircut yesterday... fuuuudge! he looked bomb... ima take a picture today and post it on here... *drool* k well ima get ready now... toodles!
ive been so busy lately... i go to school, volunteer at an elementary, pick up my sister, get ready for work, take my sis to granny's house, TRY to see my bf before work, then work, go home, do homework... wth kinda life is this! today is my kick back day (thank goodness)... i pick up my beb from school then chill at his house until i hafto pick up the sister... then i take her to grannys and i get to chill at noel's again till i have school...
damn he got a haircut yesterday... fuuuudge! he looked bomb... ima take a picture today and post it on here... *drool* k well ima get ready now... toodles!
this heart of mine was broken at 11:53:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Monday, September 23, 2002
[[ topics of interest ]]
o freeway
o dreams
o love is not forever
o quotes #1
o make-over
o quotes #2
o pms
o freeway
o dreams
o love is not forever
o quotes #1
o make-over
o quotes #2
o pms
this heart of mine was broken at 1:31:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Dear heart,
the boy was going psycho-possesive last night... he got mad cuz i "called guys"... well DUH, hun! what do you think i am? a damn hermit? well im a sociable girl who has guy friends... well he was being really anal when i came over yesterday... he threw the 2 rings he gave me in the car and i had to find it... god! he was really pissing me off last night... im getting scared of this whole relationship deal... maybe im not ready for anything serious right now...
see how stupid guys can be... they totally ruin it for themselves right when you're actually starting to fall in love with them... *shakes head... wutev!
oh yeah! thanks bianca for being an avid reader of my silly ramblings... i have added her to my "reads" section located on the side menu... and that is all... muah to ya'll!
the boy was going psycho-possesive last night... he got mad cuz i "called guys"... well DUH, hun! what do you think i am? a damn hermit? well im a sociable girl who has guy friends... well he was being really anal when i came over yesterday... he threw the 2 rings he gave me in the car and i had to find it... god! he was really pissing me off last night... im getting scared of this whole relationship deal... maybe im not ready for anything serious right now...
see how stupid guys can be... they totally ruin it for themselves right when you're actually starting to fall in love with them... *shakes head... wutev!
oh yeah! thanks bianca for being an avid reader of my silly ramblings... i have added her to my "reads" section located on the side menu... and that is all... muah to ya'll!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:56:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Saturday, September 21, 2002
Dear heart,
NoOoOo!!! im falling for him... i seriously am... and i hate this feeling cuz now he has that power to hurt me... he used to be tis dumb guy who i just liked for his looks... but now i see something else underneath it all... this genuinely decent guy who just loves me no matter what... and i cant believe it took me this long to believe him when he told me he loved me... my cousin tells me so all the time how he always talks about me and how he's completely fallen for me... all this just seems too good to be true...
yes im living in egypt... in the nile that is... (ahem)denial(ahem)... ok my poor attempt at humor... but so many times guys have said they'd stick around and they leave... i gave em my heart and they just break it like it doesnt even hurt... make me trust em when all they end up feeding me are lies... that kinda past experience really does something to a girl... its hard to let myself go... to let love just take its course... ive been holding back these feelings for so long... each day ive spent with him chipped a little bit of the stine wall i built around my heart until it just collapsed... and there i was, waiting for his slow ass to come rescue me... god, noel, I LOVE YOU!
if only he read this... if only he knew how much he means to me...
yesterday he fixed my battery and just did errands with me... its always been my dream to do errands with a boyfriend... i dunno... and then we went to his house and i just collapsed on his bed and took a nap... i woke up to him kissing my cheek and him asking me to marry him... i just smiled and kissed him... this boy... couldnt ask for anything better... seriously...
before i went to the party today, i stopped by his house to see him off to his first "hip hop show" whatever that is... kinda worried about him and i hope he doesnt do anything dumb... his mom was joking around with me and telling me how his dad was all hairy... chest, stomache, and down there... then she goes to me and asks if noel's is really furry down there... my eyes popped open... omg! but she just laughed and i got red... its cool tho... she likes me... she thinks im a good influence...
noel got kinda worried today cuz i was going to the party with a guy friend... he got all sad and figured that was his replacement... but no one could ever replace him... i thought about him all night... look at me... i still am... see! it was that time apart that made me realize i love this boy... didnt think i could love anyone else... but look at me proving myself wrong... awww! im so proud of you!
NoOoOo!!! im falling for him... i seriously am... and i hate this feeling cuz now he has that power to hurt me... he used to be tis dumb guy who i just liked for his looks... but now i see something else underneath it all... this genuinely decent guy who just loves me no matter what... and i cant believe it took me this long to believe him when he told me he loved me... my cousin tells me so all the time how he always talks about me and how he's completely fallen for me... all this just seems too good to be true...
yes im living in egypt... in the nile that is... (ahem)denial(ahem)... ok my poor attempt at humor... but so many times guys have said they'd stick around and they leave... i gave em my heart and they just break it like it doesnt even hurt... make me trust em when all they end up feeding me are lies... that kinda past experience really does something to a girl... its hard to let myself go... to let love just take its course... ive been holding back these feelings for so long... each day ive spent with him chipped a little bit of the stine wall i built around my heart until it just collapsed... and there i was, waiting for his slow ass to come rescue me... god, noel, I LOVE YOU!
if only he read this... if only he knew how much he means to me...
yesterday he fixed my battery and just did errands with me... its always been my dream to do errands with a boyfriend... i dunno... and then we went to his house and i just collapsed on his bed and took a nap... i woke up to him kissing my cheek and him asking me to marry him... i just smiled and kissed him... this boy... couldnt ask for anything better... seriously...
before i went to the party today, i stopped by his house to see him off to his first "hip hop show" whatever that is... kinda worried about him and i hope he doesnt do anything dumb... his mom was joking around with me and telling me how his dad was all hairy... chest, stomache, and down there... then she goes to me and asks if noel's is really furry down there... my eyes popped open... omg! but she just laughed and i got red... its cool tho... she likes me... she thinks im a good influence...
noel got kinda worried today cuz i was going to the party with a guy friend... he got all sad and figured that was his replacement... but no one could ever replace him... i thought about him all night... look at me... i still am... see! it was that time apart that made me realize i love this boy... didnt think i could love anyone else... but look at me proving myself wrong... awww! im so proud of you!
this heart of mine was broken at 11:32:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
[[ tips for the male readers ]]
.: 10 bad-girlfriend signs :.
10. She is an attention hog
Whether you are complimenting another woman, helping someone else out or simply making small talk, you notice that her blood boils. Your woman shouldn't be second place, but by the same token, she shouldn't throw a fit every time you give someone else attention. A mate like that is poison: she will make you look like a fool and drain your positive energy. Flush her.
9. Her friends are uncool
You look forward to meeting her friends but the façade is shattered as you realize that they are not the coolest of people. It is not the quantity of friends that makes someone cool but the quality and level of trust, admiration and camaraderie. If you sense any mistrust or envy in her circle, bolt.
8. Jealousy is her middle name
You have no problem admitting that another man is good-looking or that her friend Bob is funny, yet she gets angry when you tastefully mention that a certain woman has nice features, great style or a good sense of humor. She is quick to jump to conclusions and is fond of making grandiose generalizations about "the way men are."
7. She has no life
You insist that you should have your own lives, your own friends, your own dreams and aspirations, while still sharing a common bond. This girl wants to be your Siamese twin. Before you know it, she sticks to you like glue and puts a tracer on you. Let her know that you will not stand for such nonsense.
6. You are her goal
Any woman who only has "finding a man" on her list of goals is likely to drain you and drive you crazy. Yes, loyalty is important, but we do not want someone who lives and breathes us - at least not if we have a modicum of self-esteem.
5. She is a free agent for life
Before I get blasted: there is nothing wrong with being a single woman, ever, but only if being single is by choice and the woman can get her share of dates. But if you notice that you are the woman's first love interest ever and she has seen John, Paul, George and Ringo perform live, then you may have to ask yourself some questions.
4. She sees everything and everyone as competition
You would think that she is confident enough about your affection for her, but she cannot stand you being with your friends, talking (and I mean only talking) to other women or even occasionally putting your job ahead of her. Despite giving her the world, she seems to doubt and question your true feelings and always brings up frustrating "issues."
3. She blames you for her exes
Yes, some men are bad and some have committed sins. But the same way that thou shalt not blame thy son for his father's sins, men should not get blamed for other men's mistakes. If a woman has previously done wrong, then sometimes (but not always) she should shoulder some of the blame. Blaming, distrusting and attacking you for others' mistakes is a recipe for disaster.
2. She has no respect
Whether she has no respect for you, your friends, your parents, or herself, it's clear that this woman has some severe issues. You know what? I used to get turned on by the idea of improving a woman's life (apologies if this sounds arrogant), but no one can save, rescue or help anyone else, and if she has no respect for herself, then it is a lost cause. Sink her and move on.
1. Her sense of humor is nonexistent
She got all offended by some article about a boyfriend being whipped, even though anyone would see that this was the point of view of the boyfriend's friends, while his true feelings about her appeared in the she's the one article. No sense of humor and no sense of objectivity; no potential for a future.
.: 10 bad-girlfriend signs :.
10. She is an attention hog
Whether you are complimenting another woman, helping someone else out or simply making small talk, you notice that her blood boils. Your woman shouldn't be second place, but by the same token, she shouldn't throw a fit every time you give someone else attention. A mate like that is poison: she will make you look like a fool and drain your positive energy. Flush her.
9. Her friends are uncool
You look forward to meeting her friends but the façade is shattered as you realize that they are not the coolest of people. It is not the quantity of friends that makes someone cool but the quality and level of trust, admiration and camaraderie. If you sense any mistrust or envy in her circle, bolt.
8. Jealousy is her middle name
You have no problem admitting that another man is good-looking or that her friend Bob is funny, yet she gets angry when you tastefully mention that a certain woman has nice features, great style or a good sense of humor. She is quick to jump to conclusions and is fond of making grandiose generalizations about "the way men are."
7. She has no life
You insist that you should have your own lives, your own friends, your own dreams and aspirations, while still sharing a common bond. This girl wants to be your Siamese twin. Before you know it, she sticks to you like glue and puts a tracer on you. Let her know that you will not stand for such nonsense.
6. You are her goal
Any woman who only has "finding a man" on her list of goals is likely to drain you and drive you crazy. Yes, loyalty is important, but we do not want someone who lives and breathes us - at least not if we have a modicum of self-esteem.
5. She is a free agent for life
Before I get blasted: there is nothing wrong with being a single woman, ever, but only if being single is by choice and the woman can get her share of dates. But if you notice that you are the woman's first love interest ever and she has seen John, Paul, George and Ringo perform live, then you may have to ask yourself some questions.
4. She sees everything and everyone as competition
You would think that she is confident enough about your affection for her, but she cannot stand you being with your friends, talking (and I mean only talking) to other women or even occasionally putting your job ahead of her. Despite giving her the world, she seems to doubt and question your true feelings and always brings up frustrating "issues."
3. She blames you for her exes
Yes, some men are bad and some have committed sins. But the same way that thou shalt not blame thy son for his father's sins, men should not get blamed for other men's mistakes. If a woman has previously done wrong, then sometimes (but not always) she should shoulder some of the blame. Blaming, distrusting and attacking you for others' mistakes is a recipe for disaster.
2. She has no respect
Whether she has no respect for you, your friends, your parents, or herself, it's clear that this woman has some severe issues. You know what? I used to get turned on by the idea of improving a woman's life (apologies if this sounds arrogant), but no one can save, rescue or help anyone else, and if she has no respect for herself, then it is a lost cause. Sink her and move on.
1. Her sense of humor is nonexistent
She got all offended by some article about a boyfriend being whipped, even though anyone would see that this was the point of view of the boyfriend's friends, while his true feelings about her appeared in the she's the one article. No sense of humor and no sense of objectivity; no potential for a future.
this heart of mine was broken at 11:16:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Friday, September 20, 2002
[[ revelation of the moment ]]
She was daddy's little girl, her momma's little angel, the teachers' pet, and a part of every team, she said "All my life, I've been pleasing everyone but me. Everyday I'm waking up, to someone else's dream..."
She was daddy's little girl, her momma's little angel, the teachers' pet, and a part of every team, she said "All my life, I've been pleasing everyone but me. Everyday I'm waking up, to someone else's dream..."
this heart of mine was broken at 12:59:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Dear heart,
TGIF! hehe... that sounded kinda dumb... but recap of the two unlogged days of my life...
wednesday... went to noel's house... then he went with me to my field study thing for class... he met dana and he thinks i should be best friends with her... he's really very sweet... good boyfriend material...
thursday... oh that was yesterday! noel and i ate lunch with my mom then when i had to go to work, my car wouldnt start... so no one was helping me and noel was just being really irritating... o well... i finally got it started so i skipped work... stayed at noel's pad... took a long awaited nap and ate dinner... it was very comfortable... i could get used to this... eep!
nothing interesting so far today... i ditched class though cuz i didnt wanna rush eating my breakfast... haha... so went shopping at the lil shops at school with dana... this cute ass surfer guy from my english class (which i officially dropped today) finally noticed me today... we were talking about where to put this sponge bob square pants band aid... he's really cute...
[[ quote of the day ]]
aint nothing wrong with checking out the local hotties. i may have a boyfriend but God gave me eyes for a reason!!!
TGIF! hehe... that sounded kinda dumb... but recap of the two unlogged days of my life...
wednesday... went to noel's house... then he went with me to my field study thing for class... he met dana and he thinks i should be best friends with her... he's really very sweet... good boyfriend material...
thursday... oh that was yesterday! noel and i ate lunch with my mom then when i had to go to work, my car wouldnt start... so no one was helping me and noel was just being really irritating... o well... i finally got it started so i skipped work... stayed at noel's pad... took a long awaited nap and ate dinner... it was very comfortable... i could get used to this... eep!
nothing interesting so far today... i ditched class though cuz i didnt wanna rush eating my breakfast... haha... so went shopping at the lil shops at school with dana... this cute ass surfer guy from my english class (which i officially dropped today) finally noticed me today... we were talking about where to put this sponge bob square pants band aid... he's really cute...
[[ quote of the day ]]
aint nothing wrong with checking out the local hotties. i may have a boyfriend but God gave me eyes for a reason!!!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:55:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Dear heart,
i love school... seriously... my friends are so much fun... today we played pool after class... we really sucked ass but its all good... it took us like half an hour to finish one game... rael and kuya were playing next to us... rael is really nice =)... he offered me yogurt... he even said my name... i LOVE that! there are a lot of hottie cool guys at my school... just pass a million at a time... damn i love just chillin there... i acquire like a dozen crushes per second... its kinda fun... feels so liberating... i know i got a man but its not bad to look... im sure he looks too... dont hurt no one to file these eye candies into my fantasy file... haha...
this one girl is becoming a really good friend... i'll call her dana... we study together and have all our classes together... very secure walking partner... im just really happy in school... its a great environment... so many people... so much time... haha... k... ima get ready to pick up my sister... then go to my boyfriend's house... toodles!
note: today might be "the day" so wish me luck.
note #2: its been a month since me and noel first met... neato huh? =D (rael is cool)
i love school... seriously... my friends are so much fun... today we played pool after class... we really sucked ass but its all good... it took us like half an hour to finish one game... rael and kuya were playing next to us... rael is really nice =)... he offered me yogurt... he even said my name... i LOVE that! there are a lot of hottie cool guys at my school... just pass a million at a time... damn i love just chillin there... i acquire like a dozen crushes per second... its kinda fun... feels so liberating... i know i got a man but its not bad to look... im sure he looks too... dont hurt no one to file these eye candies into my fantasy file... haha...
this one girl is becoming a really good friend... i'll call her dana... we study together and have all our classes together... very secure walking partner... im just really happy in school... its a great environment... so many people... so much time... haha... k... ima get ready to pick up my sister... then go to my boyfriend's house... toodles!
note: today might be "the day" so wish me luck.
note #2: its been a month since me and noel first met... neato huh? =D (rael is cool)
this heart of mine was broken at 2:03:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Dear heart,
falling in love is a funny thing... just kinda randomly happens without the other person knowing... and the SMALLEST things evoke the biggest feelings inside... im not saying im "in love" with noel but you know how it is sometimes... you're just doing something with your significant other and they do something so... natural yet you're completely in awe of it... well monday night, i stopped by his house after work... and we were smelling each other for some odd reason... then he starts cracking up and i start laughing too... then i look at him... "awww!" he's so darn adorable when he's laughing uncontrollably... so there we are, laughing hysterically in the middle of his street at 9 in the evening like two crazy persons... its so much fun with him...
then the next day, which was yesterday... he was kissing me and i kept inching back towards the headboard... unfortunately, the unthinking person that i am... i JERK my head back.. my head not only hits the headboard, it goes through it too... so we're cracking up and i just let out this huge spit wad on his cheek which got in his eye... eww! hahahahaha! so we're just laughing, yet trying not to be too loud so his mom won't wake up... and i roll out of bed so i can get ready for work... well my skirt ribbon gets caught on him and rips right off... OMG!!! then we bust out even more... i try to get out and put on my scrunchie cuz my hair is all fidged up from the headboard incident and the scrunchie goes flying to his face... talk about a day of fiasco... he alughed even harder when i started snorting... i love life...its so much fun!
falling in love is a funny thing... just kinda randomly happens without the other person knowing... and the SMALLEST things evoke the biggest feelings inside... im not saying im "in love" with noel but you know how it is sometimes... you're just doing something with your significant other and they do something so... natural yet you're completely in awe of it... well monday night, i stopped by his house after work... and we were smelling each other for some odd reason... then he starts cracking up and i start laughing too... then i look at him... "awww!" he's so darn adorable when he's laughing uncontrollably... so there we are, laughing hysterically in the middle of his street at 9 in the evening like two crazy persons... its so much fun with him...
then the next day, which was yesterday... he was kissing me and i kept inching back towards the headboard... unfortunately, the unthinking person that i am... i JERK my head back.. my head not only hits the headboard, it goes through it too... so we're cracking up and i just let out this huge spit wad on his cheek which got in his eye... eww! hahahahaha! so we're just laughing, yet trying not to be too loud so his mom won't wake up... and i roll out of bed so i can get ready for work... well my skirt ribbon gets caught on him and rips right off... OMG!!! then we bust out even more... i try to get out and put on my scrunchie cuz my hair is all fidged up from the headboard incident and the scrunchie goes flying to his face... talk about a day of fiasco... he alughed even harder when i started snorting... i love life...its so much fun!
this heart of mine was broken at 1:52:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Monday, September 16, 2002
this heart of mine was broken at 1:56:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Dear heart,
right after that family party i mentioned in the last entree, i visited noel... it was kinda 12 in the AM but he didnt seem to mind... we were just hugging the whole time until 1 when i decided that it was time for me to leave... o well
last night i think i experienced PMS... but not pre-menstrual syndrome but POST-menstrual syndrome... ive been done with my rag for about a week now... but now im getting all weepy about nothing... ive become nostalgic and yearn desperately for the past... i want all my friends back... i want it to be how it used to be... i want to be able to talk to bryan again... i want to be able to talk to ANYONE again... lately i cant connect with people as i used to... its like im on totally different levels... on a different page... ya know? my boyfriend doesnt really help much in this department... all he can do is desperately try to humor me by mocking my whining... special note: its NOT working!!
i TRY to talk to bryan but its different now... i have to balance my feelings of anger, frustration, and wanting to be his friend in every conversation... all the stuff he's doing now is SO destructive but its not like i have the right to care about him anymore... im just an ex-girfriend, ex-friend... and i cant stand hearing about his new girl... i dont even care that they are going out but i just dont want her to replace me as the person he talks to about everything... but im sure she already has... have i become so replaceable? so dispensable? he said something like: "when you forget people, they kinda forget you too" or something like that... i just wanted to die! my eyes were brimming with tears... especially when he was gonna look at furniture with her... i mean, i coulda helped him... but no- he has her now... so forget me... i dont even know why im thinking about this... just makes me mad how- i dunno...
but amidst all this "i wanna hang up on him already" attitude i undergo when talking to him, i just wanna stay... be his friend... listen to his destructive ways or his girl adventures... just to be there cuz i miss him... but it makes it REALLY hard when all these other factors come into play... when all these emotions start building up inside...
why is life so complicated?
why cant anyone understand me anymore?
i want a BEST FRIEND!!! (taking applications =P)
right after that family party i mentioned in the last entree, i visited noel... it was kinda 12 in the AM but he didnt seem to mind... we were just hugging the whole time until 1 when i decided that it was time for me to leave... o well
last night i think i experienced PMS... but not pre-menstrual syndrome but POST-menstrual syndrome... ive been done with my rag for about a week now... but now im getting all weepy about nothing... ive become nostalgic and yearn desperately for the past... i want all my friends back... i want it to be how it used to be... i want to be able to talk to bryan again... i want to be able to talk to ANYONE again... lately i cant connect with people as i used to... its like im on totally different levels... on a different page... ya know? my boyfriend doesnt really help much in this department... all he can do is desperately try to humor me by mocking my whining... special note: its NOT working!!
i TRY to talk to bryan but its different now... i have to balance my feelings of anger, frustration, and wanting to be his friend in every conversation... all the stuff he's doing now is SO destructive but its not like i have the right to care about him anymore... im just an ex-girfriend, ex-friend... and i cant stand hearing about his new girl... i dont even care that they are going out but i just dont want her to replace me as the person he talks to about everything... but im sure she already has... have i become so replaceable? so dispensable? he said something like: "when you forget people, they kinda forget you too" or something like that... i just wanted to die! my eyes were brimming with tears... especially when he was gonna look at furniture with her... i mean, i coulda helped him... but no- he has her now... so forget me... i dont even know why im thinking about this... just makes me mad how- i dunno...
but amidst all this "i wanna hang up on him already" attitude i undergo when talking to him, i just wanna stay... be his friend... listen to his destructive ways or his girl adventures... just to be there cuz i miss him... but it makes it REALLY hard when all these other factors come into play... when all these emotions start building up inside...
why is life so complicated?
why cant anyone understand me anymore?
i want a BEST FRIEND!!! (taking applications =P)
this heart of mine was broken at 1:44:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Saturday, September 14, 2002
Dear heart,
i went to the huntington beach this morning with HE folks... that was fun... we ate at ruby's... just missed them a lot...
after i went to noel's house... stayed there and helped his mom get ready for this wedding... then we just walked back to the future... we were just huggin on the bed... heehee... that was fun...
im having a good day for some reason... maybe cuz of noel, maybe cuz i chilled with the girls... either way... im smiling... oh yeah, its may's birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAY!!
i went to the huntington beach this morning with HE folks... that was fun... we ate at ruby's... just missed them a lot...
after i went to noel's house... stayed there and helped his mom get ready for this wedding... then we just walked back to the future... we were just huggin on the bed... heehee... that was fun...
im having a good day for some reason... maybe cuz of noel, maybe cuz i chilled with the girls... either way... im smiling... oh yeah, its may's birthday...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAY!!
this heart of mine was broken at 10:14:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Dear heart,
im quite disappointed at myself... reading the most recent journal entrees... they seem so "bleh"... like they just tell about my day and whatnot... no inspiring dicoveries, no enlightening situatios, no humorous anecdotes, no face-making or complaining about worldy tragedies burdened on girls... what has become of me! im boring again... this boy is making me boring!!! aKKK! he makes me happy and all that but my writing sucks now... so superficial and shallow... no more depth into thinking... no more convictions about issues... oh HELP! i must find all my interesting articles and post em somewhere so at least i can remember that i was interesting once... geesh...
im quite disappointed at myself... reading the most recent journal entrees... they seem so "bleh"... like they just tell about my day and whatnot... no inspiring dicoveries, no enlightening situatios, no humorous anecdotes, no face-making or complaining about worldy tragedies burdened on girls... what has become of me! im boring again... this boy is making me boring!!! aKKK! he makes me happy and all that but my writing sucks now... so superficial and shallow... no more depth into thinking... no more convictions about issues... oh HELP! i must find all my interesting articles and post em somewhere so at least i can remember that i was interesting once... geesh...
this heart of mine was broken at 9:32:00 AM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Friday, September 13, 2002
Dear heart,
im currently playing at this weird computer place... i dunno... there are a buncha boys playing counter strike... SO not my thing... i die right when i start... my hunny is sitting right next to me... i hope he doesnt read this... not like its secret or anything... but yeah, i think me and bryan are starting to get cool again...
school was hilarious today... some guy in a skateboard totally fell off his board in front of us... it was kinda funny... i gues you had to be there... *shrug... oh i dont know what to write... i had a dream about adrian last night... kinda creepy... maybe cuz he finally talked to me after the last time i hit him... that awful incident... well anyways... i think i will write you later...
im currently playing at this weird computer place... i dunno... there are a buncha boys playing counter strike... SO not my thing... i die right when i start... my hunny is sitting right next to me... i hope he doesnt read this... not like its secret or anything... but yeah, i think me and bryan are starting to get cool again...
school was hilarious today... some guy in a skateboard totally fell off his board in front of us... it was kinda funny... i gues you had to be there... *shrug... oh i dont know what to write... i had a dream about adrian last night... kinda creepy... maybe cuz he finally talked to me after the last time i hit him... that awful incident... well anyways... i think i will write you later...
this heart of mine was broken at 6:02:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Dear heart,
i promised to post a picture of me and my hunny so here it is... yes that sexy man is my boyfriend! haha jk... ok sorry for the finger... he thought it looked "gangsta"... o GOD!
so enjoy... im kinda in a rush cuz i hafto pick him up from school today... so guess thats it... tell you more stuff later... toodles!
i promised to post a picture of me and my hunny so here it is... yes that sexy man is my boyfriend! haha jk... ok sorry for the finger... he thought it looked "gangsta"... o GOD!
so enjoy... im kinda in a rush cuz i hafto pick him up from school today... so guess thats it... tell you more stuff later... toodles!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:35:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Saturday, September 07, 2002
Dear heart,
i saw my beb yesterday... i thought i wasnt going to cuz i figured i'd be busy with may... we went to the mall and may was trying to flirt with this sales guy to get a discount on a miniature remote control cars... he wouldnt give her $2 off! well he was asking me which one i liked and i told him the red one... so he takes it out, plays with it for a bit, then puts it in a bag and says "here this is for you." so i got one free! heehee! wooooo! so now i have a gift for my hunny... well yeah... we kinda drove around yesterday... then we parked somewhere... we sat on the front part of my car and watched the stars... he was holding me from behind and we were fighting over which one belonged to us... haha there were only two...
yes so another week has passed and no sexual advances yet again... im not really complaining... he just wants to wait with all that... he always feels so guilty when he gets "excited" like its "disrespectful" or something... then we were supposed to pick up murray and when he was walking to the car, i was like "pretend we're making out"... well we were SUPPOSED to pretend so we were just rubbing our faces together for a bit... then our lips touched and i think we faked that session too well... hehe... half an hour later, murray comes back and asks if we were done... haha!
anyway, im having a garage sale... so far we've made $200! damn thats good... he wanted to help but i dont feel like picking up his ass to get over here... i look ghetto anyway... its our three weeks tomorrow! hehe how cute... well to be accurate, our one week anniversary as a couple...
ima help with the stuff now... tell you more later when i give him his car... ima race him, watch!
i saw my beb yesterday... i thought i wasnt going to cuz i figured i'd be busy with may... we went to the mall and may was trying to flirt with this sales guy to get a discount on a miniature remote control cars... he wouldnt give her $2 off! well he was asking me which one i liked and i told him the red one... so he takes it out, plays with it for a bit, then puts it in a bag and says "here this is for you." so i got one free! heehee! wooooo! so now i have a gift for my hunny... well yeah... we kinda drove around yesterday... then we parked somewhere... we sat on the front part of my car and watched the stars... he was holding me from behind and we were fighting over which one belonged to us... haha there were only two...
yes so another week has passed and no sexual advances yet again... im not really complaining... he just wants to wait with all that... he always feels so guilty when he gets "excited" like its "disrespectful" or something... then we were supposed to pick up murray and when he was walking to the car, i was like "pretend we're making out"... well we were SUPPOSED to pretend so we were just rubbing our faces together for a bit... then our lips touched and i think we faked that session too well... hehe... half an hour later, murray comes back and asks if we were done... haha!
anyway, im having a garage sale... so far we've made $200! damn thats good... he wanted to help but i dont feel like picking up his ass to get over here... i look ghetto anyway... its our three weeks tomorrow! hehe how cute... well to be accurate, our one week anniversary as a couple...
ima help with the stuff now... tell you more later when i give him his car... ima race him, watch!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:28:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Friday, September 06, 2002
Dear heart,
sometimes i hate myself for taking so many things for granted... when i say "things", im reffering to my boyfriend... ok he does EVERYthing for me, he treats me like im some princess, he makes me feel special 24/7, he's affectionate and not embarassed to tell the whole world about us... he just wants me to meet all his friends... he tells his friends how he feels about me like... "that was my girl. i love her a whole lot." its like, "awww!"
its weird how he is SO in fear of losing me... he thinks one day im gonna realize how im "too good for him"... yeah, sure! haha... you know one time we were getting some boba from tapioca express and he starts singing to me out of nowhere... he comes up from behind me and starts singing this song about "i wanna hold you in my arms forever"... and this guy next to us was just like "who the heck is THIS freak?!" it was so sweet though... im like romanced every second im with him... this has never happened to me before... every time he does something romantic, i ask him "what are you doing now?" and he's so suprised that stuff like that has never been done to me before... o be told "i love you" while you order food... just lil things like that...
oh how lucky am i... i have the best looking guy in the world... who adores me and is proud to be with me... and i dont think he even freaking know what a catch he is... muahahahahaha! im the luckiest girl in the world.... YESSS!
sometimes i hate myself for taking so many things for granted... when i say "things", im reffering to my boyfriend... ok he does EVERYthing for me, he treats me like im some princess, he makes me feel special 24/7, he's affectionate and not embarassed to tell the whole world about us... he just wants me to meet all his friends... he tells his friends how he feels about me like... "that was my girl. i love her a whole lot." its like, "awww!"
its weird how he is SO in fear of losing me... he thinks one day im gonna realize how im "too good for him"... yeah, sure! haha... you know one time we were getting some boba from tapioca express and he starts singing to me out of nowhere... he comes up from behind me and starts singing this song about "i wanna hold you in my arms forever"... and this guy next to us was just like "who the heck is THIS freak?!" it was so sweet though... im like romanced every second im with him... this has never happened to me before... every time he does something romantic, i ask him "what are you doing now?" and he's so suprised that stuff like that has never been done to me before... o be told "i love you" while you order food... just lil things like that...
oh how lucky am i... i have the best looking guy in the world... who adores me and is proud to be with me... and i dont think he even freaking know what a catch he is... muahahahahaha! im the luckiest girl in the world.... YESSS!
this heart of mine was broken at 1:04:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Thursday, September 05, 2002
Dear heart,
omg yesterday he MADE me take pictures... we stopped by ging's house to pick up a shirt so i could match him... he was SO into it, its funny... he paid for 2 extra poses cuz he wanted a lot then he asked the lady if they copuld put it up on their wall and never take it down... awww! then he thinks of another pose for "next time" which he thinks is next month... im like: "boy, you MUST be crazy!" but his lil heart is set on doing this pose where we are about to kiss... it was a cute idea... wutev... ima post the pics up later... i look weird but he is SUCH a hottie... hehe but you knew that...
ok funny noel moment: we went to starbucks and he tells me that he knows what i should order... but i already knew what i wanted... still he insisted on this weird drink he kept saying... i was cracking up cuz he was saying caramel mocciatto(<-or however that's spelled)... he was saying it like "mocha chia toe"... HAHAHA! you just had to be there... the cashier was trying to correct him but of course he was totally oblivious to her...
anyway i was thinking of joining sororities in my school... seems kinda cool and stuff... only problem is noel is kinda iffy about it... so i dont want him to worry... i mean, its not THAT important to join one... just thought of it as a way to meet new people.. damn all my school friends tell me my boyfriend is hot... subs told me today that one day she was gonna try to take him away... heehee... let her try... well gotta get ready now... ima stop by my hunny's house soon... toodles!
omg yesterday he MADE me take pictures... we stopped by ging's house to pick up a shirt so i could match him... he was SO into it, its funny... he paid for 2 extra poses cuz he wanted a lot then he asked the lady if they copuld put it up on their wall and never take it down... awww! then he thinks of another pose for "next time" which he thinks is next month... im like: "boy, you MUST be crazy!" but his lil heart is set on doing this pose where we are about to kiss... it was a cute idea... wutev... ima post the pics up later... i look weird but he is SUCH a hottie... hehe but you knew that...
ok funny noel moment: we went to starbucks and he tells me that he knows what i should order... but i already knew what i wanted... still he insisted on this weird drink he kept saying... i was cracking up cuz he was saying caramel mocciatto(<-or however that's spelled)... he was saying it like "mocha chia toe"... HAHAHA! you just had to be there... the cashier was trying to correct him but of course he was totally oblivious to her...
anyway i was thinking of joining sororities in my school... seems kinda cool and stuff... only problem is noel is kinda iffy about it... so i dont want him to worry... i mean, its not THAT important to join one... just thought of it as a way to meet new people.. damn all my school friends tell me my boyfriend is hot... subs told me today that one day she was gonna try to take him away... heehee... let her try... well gotta get ready now... ima stop by my hunny's house soon... toodles!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:49:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
Dear heart,
things with bryan are kinda technically non-existent... im guessing he doesnt wanna talk to me anymore after never returning my calls or answering me unless i block my number... what a pity... he was a good friend too... one of the best... he knew me like inside out and vice versa... just dont understand sometimes why its so easy for people to give up frienships over nothing... over bad days and mood swings... or whatever it is he was feeling... i was here for him and i still am... he just wont let me anymore... to tell you the truth, i kinda miss him... just talking to him and all that... i mean, i KNOW im busy with everything else but when im not... i think of him and like remember "damn i lost my best guy friend, huh?"
i really cant believe we're just gonna stop seeing each other and hanging out... we've been friends for so long and one day it just stops... maybe im not allowed to kiss him anymore or whatnot but was that the only reason why e kicked it with me? oh who knows... hopefully this wont matter in a few weeks and he;ll be just another acquaintance who will forget me... sad when you really think about...
and if bryan ever decides to update himself with this journal:
i miss you... you're my best guy friend and i dont know how im gonna get through life without you... you're important to me and i hope you'll come back in my life some way or time...
things with bryan are kinda technically non-existent... im guessing he doesnt wanna talk to me anymore after never returning my calls or answering me unless i block my number... what a pity... he was a good friend too... one of the best... he knew me like inside out and vice versa... just dont understand sometimes why its so easy for people to give up frienships over nothing... over bad days and mood swings... or whatever it is he was feeling... i was here for him and i still am... he just wont let me anymore... to tell you the truth, i kinda miss him... just talking to him and all that... i mean, i KNOW im busy with everything else but when im not... i think of him and like remember "damn i lost my best guy friend, huh?"
i really cant believe we're just gonna stop seeing each other and hanging out... we've been friends for so long and one day it just stops... maybe im not allowed to kiss him anymore or whatnot but was that the only reason why e kicked it with me? oh who knows... hopefully this wont matter in a few weeks and he;ll be just another acquaintance who will forget me... sad when you really think about...
and if bryan ever decides to update himself with this journal:
i miss you... you're my best guy friend and i dont know how im gonna get through life without you... you're important to me and i hope you'll come back in my life some way or time...
this heart of mine was broken at 1:23:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
Dear heart,
goodness me... so many things have happened in the course of a few days... and i apologoze for the long neglect... things were out of my control and i've been WAY too busy to have been able to write in here...
ok so sunday he didnt end up going to the family party to annouce us... but he did end up asking me to be his girlfriend that night... so its official on september uno! things have been going great with him... his mom brags about me as the girl with the "beautiful suso" meaning breasts in tagalog... hehe i overheard her on the phone but i dont think she knew i understood the language... so basically my schedule is go to school, go home, eat, take a shower, pick up melanie, see noel, then work... every day its going to be like this... very tight schedule but everything is balanced just right where all the important things fit right in...
on monday, may and i went to visit him... looking drop dead sexay as usual, he goes to me, opens my door, and gives me a lil kiss... then we're just sitting around talking when he suddenly blurts out that im gonna have his children... me and may look at each other like wtf?! haha it was funny tho... cuz he was just carressing my hand then he looks up and says that to her... we took some cute pictures... u hafto see these... we were posing for a picture until he kissed mu cheek and i turned my head and we kissed... then *snap*... she took it... i feel all giddy just thinking about him... we're supposed to take pictures today but im not sure... he wanted to do the greeting for my cellie but he refused to say "this is joanne's phone" cuz he says he doesnt call me that... but i am NOT having some guy bust out a: "you got it down to my baby's cellie phone" uh uh! HELL no! haha sounds too 8th grade...
everything is becoming routine now... in a good way... like my days are planned in such a way where i can be with my friends and have time to chill with him... must bring him to some functions for school and show off my lil high school boy... haha... i dont care! he's my hunny and im proud to be his girl!
goodness me... so many things have happened in the course of a few days... and i apologoze for the long neglect... things were out of my control and i've been WAY too busy to have been able to write in here...
ok so sunday he didnt end up going to the family party to annouce us... but he did end up asking me to be his girlfriend that night... so its official on september uno! things have been going great with him... his mom brags about me as the girl with the "beautiful suso" meaning breasts in tagalog... hehe i overheard her on the phone but i dont think she knew i understood the language... so basically my schedule is go to school, go home, eat, take a shower, pick up melanie, see noel, then work... every day its going to be like this... very tight schedule but everything is balanced just right where all the important things fit right in...
on monday, may and i went to visit him... looking drop dead sexay as usual, he goes to me, opens my door, and gives me a lil kiss... then we're just sitting around talking when he suddenly blurts out that im gonna have his children... me and may look at each other like wtf?! haha it was funny tho... cuz he was just carressing my hand then he looks up and says that to her... we took some cute pictures... u hafto see these... we were posing for a picture until he kissed mu cheek and i turned my head and we kissed... then *snap*... she took it... i feel all giddy just thinking about him... we're supposed to take pictures today but im not sure... he wanted to do the greeting for my cellie but he refused to say "this is joanne's phone" cuz he says he doesnt call me that... but i am NOT having some guy bust out a: "you got it down to my baby's cellie phone" uh uh! HELL no! haha sounds too 8th grade...
everything is becoming routine now... in a good way... like my days are planned in such a way where i can be with my friends and have time to chill with him... must bring him to some functions for school and show off my lil high school boy... haha... i dont care! he's my hunny and im proud to be his girl!
this heart of mine was broken at 12:53:00 PM
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart
0 people tried to mend this shattered heart